Saturday, October 2

Dude, You are So Going to Hell by Timothy Fullerton

Jesus came back last night,
midst trumpets blaring,
thunders rolling,
the Heavens splitting wide,
attended by myriads of
heavily armed angels.
I told him he'd
just have to wait, because
I was lying in your arms,
sweaty from our loving.
I told him that I was
not going to
give this away for the
half-time extravaganza
of God's Big Last Judgment
Super Bowl...He'd just have to
One angel said
"Don't you want to enter Paradise,
to come to the Garden?"
I said
'Just where do you think I am
wing-boy, Hoboken.?
Some angels wouldn't recognize
Paradise if it bit them
on their angelic ass.
"Just hold on there Dude.."
the Big Guy said,
"who are you, to tell
ME, your Lord and Savior,
to wait for anything
Let alone
I kissed your cheek,
then standing up,
just like I came forth
into this garden world,
I said;
" That? That?
You mean
love Making?
the Procreative Shimmy?
It is not "THAT"
O Lord and Master.
It IS the gift
wherein we touch what is TRULY Divine
within and without.!"
The angels seemed to be getting
restive, and began shuffling their
Jesus just looked at me,
and shook his head..
"Dude" he said,
"you are so going to hell".
I looked back at Him,
shining armor,
white wooly hair thing going on..
and just laughed.
"Have I been naughty, Lord?
Let's see,
I haven't started a war,
nor sponsored killing in your name,
I haven't hated,
but I do Love,
I haven't tyrannized in
body, heart nor mind
another soul.
I have not belittled someone,
nor lied or stolen,
cussed out my parents,
or banged the neighbors' wife,
and I sure as hell don't covet
my neighbors' ass.
I've helped ease the pain of those
afflicted insofar as I could,
soothed their minds,
quieted their hearts...
I've given them my time,
my money when I had any,
and neither do I slander
or look down on another.
What's the problem?'
"You did not worship Me,
appreciate My sacrifice, You
neglected prayer, and my rituals,
You did not seek Me in everything,
and did not understand your
craven sinfulness and selfishness
in withholding your gratitude that I plucked you
out of sin into the light."
"Selfishness!!" I cried
"Look Jesus, since I could think
I have never done one small thing
with the idea of Eternal reward.
Not one damned thing.
if I poisoned a deed with the simpering
greed of 'this will get me to heaven'
then I would repent of it.
That way of being is selfishness
I never did, once I began to think,
one thing because I was afraid I
would be plunged into that sadists,
wet dream you call Hell,
As that motivation is the ugly twin,
of the reward thing.
If I did that,
O puissant Lord,
then I deserve not heaven,
but the hell of selfish greediness."
It was really,
really silent...
I looked at Him,
Sitting there on his big white
The quiet grew deeper
and deeper..
"Tim honey, are you coming
back to bed, I need to cuddle."
your voice came
as soft as distant thunder.
I said
Jesus looked at me,
As a smile crept onto
His face...
"I'll wait." he said turning
His whateverthehellitwaswithsixwings
back toward the heavens.
"I'll check back in a millennia or two,
just one last thing, Timothy.."
"What Lord"
"You are such a pain in the ass!"
I grinned, and went back to

TF © 8/12/2010


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