Thursday, December 22

Sexy Solstice Sutras 2011

The following Sack-Religious aphorisms are from my forthcoming book: Sacred Sex Sutras. All rights reserved by Kamala Devi

*What if: when I'm tired…I sleep. When I'm hungry…I eat. And when I'm horny…
*You know you've got the goddess when a simple 'Namaste' knocks her bindi off.
*I will not worship false idols. And I know they are false if they are too 'holy' to fuck.
*I marvel at the softness of your skin and how it manages to contain your boundless spirit.
*I thank God for the insatiable longing between my legs, for offers depth to all my spiritual seeking.
*I'm not attracted to a certain type or size of any particular body part, but those that embody the whole.
*Being a master lover isn't a function of knowing any particular moves, but a willingness to make them up as you go along.
*Your touch instantly accelerates my heartbeat; but a strangely, a strategically placed kiss can suspend me to something slower than a stop.
*I'm committed to diminishing the gap between how awkwardly we fumble into each-other in the flesh and how effortlessly we merge in my fantasies.
*The wise Priestess does not indulge in sex to compensate for church's perverted repression, but restores prayer to it's rightful place in sexual congress.

*My non-dual directive: Know Shiva. Embody Shakti.
*In opening my awareness to all that is deserving of gratitude, I realize how much I'm still taking for granted.
*It's impossible to understand the dance, unless you're in it, and even then, you may only know what moves you.
*I step outside my temple, after worship, and amongst all the shoes of other seekers, I forget which ones are mine.
*I would rather risk your horrified rejection by revealing my naked core than stay safely bundled in the arms of your uninformed acceptance.
*There is a whole sequence of steps between serving at the foot of the divine, and dancing around in her shoes, which involve a great deal of fumbling around.

*More love, less jealousy.
*I haven't lost a boyfriend, but gained a girlfriend.
*Why yes, I am flirting with you, and your lovely wife too.
*If there was such a thing as cooties, everyone would have gotten them from me by now.
*Is it still called "NRE" (New Relationship Energy), when it's with my husband of 10 years?
*My girlfriend says that if her boyfriend ever broke up with her she would cry between my legs.
*My lover is so poly that she brings a power-strip to a coffee shop when she's going to write on her computer.
*Trying to date a monogamous person, for me, is like trying to stuff my three prong plug into a two prong outlet--it just ain't gonna fit!
*Even the minister said, when he was joining my husband and I in marriage, if your wedding vows involve forsaking all others, I object.
*I didn't give up my security for free love, I just gave up the illusion that my security comes from being the only person who can bring my partner(s) sexual pleasure.
*There is nothing wrong with being straight and monogamous, as long as you inquire deeply and define your own truth as much as those of us who are not in the norm.
*My girlfriend looks me in the eyes and tells me I'm the One, she probably said the exact same thing to her boyfriend just moments ago, but I know she only speaks the truth.
*When my mother first heard about my lifestyle she said: You've such a hog. Do you know how many women can't get a date on a Friday night, and look at you, you have three!?
*Undivided attention on a single lover is a gift indeed! Once mastered, sustaining simultaneous attention on multiple lovers provides deeper degrees of practice in loving as God loves.
*You may deem me deviant for openly sharing my heart and body with as many people as I please, but until you can prove there's pleasure in conforming, deviance works fine for me.
*Oh No! We can't let gays get married. What's next? People will start wanting to marry multiple partners. Annie Sprinkle's response: Or the EArth, or the sea, or the moon! Lets prove them right! Occupy marriage!
*When a monogamous couple suffers a break up, people don't blame monogamy-- they give condolences and are sensitive to a mourning period before saying, "there are other fish in the sea." When a poly person breaks up, (which rarely happens because they usually just include new lovers and/or transition into best friends,) people can't wait to say, "I told you so" and "isn't it time you got serious and settled down?"

*Ever notice how objects come alive when observed?
*If reality is what you make of it, what do you make of reality TV?
*WARNING: Some maps are seductively more real seeming than the territory.
*A writer must live off the page first, if they have any hopes of coming alive on it.
*At some point in the play--every performer gets to play God. The question is whether or not they are acting.
*I have 3 primary spiritual practices: Breathing, loving and Writing. My definition of "primary" is that I'm never not doing it. (By this definition, I also have 3 "primary" lovers.)

*I've been withholding this, for fear it might sound cliche' but the truth is: I LOVE YOU.
*I thought you'd built a wall around your heart until I felt around a bit and discovered a doorknob.
*Those of us who are on the planet to teach LOVE, must first contend with the FEAR that comes up for the healing.
*Elevating the beloved may add exciting new dimensions to the relationship, but after suffering so many falls from the pedestal, I'm afraid of heights.
*Evidently, you've blinded me to the difference between being madly in love and truly in love, but I couldn't have a more legitimate alibi.
*I used to get upset when my lovers didn't automatically know what's on my mind-- until I fell for you--now I'm starting to value the privacy of my own thoughts.

*Our love was once otherworldly, now we're worlds apart.
*You say you still love me, and that's sweet, but I am still IN love with you.
*When our loved ones are hurting, can we find solace, comfort and wonder in mysterious mechanism that allow us to actually feel their hurt?
*Usually when I'm feeling blue, it colors everything. Lips and roses turn a certain shade of purple. But this grief is so pure, it won't even mix with other experiences.

*I haven't died, (at least not in this lifetime) but when I do, I expect the gateway to heaven to looks like your inner thighs.
*If death is anything like sleep, there is nothing to fear. But if first there Is a bardo, made up of mind, our cultural panic is justified.
*Am I sick for contemplating this, or is society sick for putting hairspray and make-up on the dead?

*DEVIN (4): Jesus Christ is just like Bob the Builder because they both make cabinets.
*DEVIN (4): Ouch. Mom, Next time I feed you something can you wait until I pull my fingers out of your mouth before you bite down?
*I'm grateful to have this bright young being temporarily in my custody, but I have no illusions that he belongs to anyone but the Universe.
*Upon hearing that a vampires used to be normal people who were bit by vampires, Devin naturally wants to know who the first vampire was.
*Devin (4) got fruit from his Trick-or-Treat bag and says: "Sometimes red apples have yellow in them, and it makes them look like an explosion!"
*My blinding impulse towards parenthood is motivated as much by my need to compensate for a dysfunctional childhood as it is curiosity of how God must feel.
*DEVIN(4): The neighbors must be crazy, they have their pumpkin out and it's already December.
ME: So do we honey.
DEVIN: Mom, next month is my birthday and I want you to bake me a cake. This time I want you to make the outside brown so it looks like the earth and we can put animals on it like worms and snails and other bugs.
ME: where did you get that idea?
Devin: I thought it up myself. It's a great idea, I've been thinking about it for a whole year, since my last birthday.

*When somebody wants the same thing I want-- and is better at attaining it-- I can chose to see them as competition, or as my teacher.
*Processing is like sex; it can be passionate, vulnerable, addictive and depending on your skill the outcome is either satisfying or frustrating.
*I'm cultivating compassion for the ego's compulsive need to compare, for deep in our lizard brain, we still think our survival depends on being the fittest.
*I am hereby quitting my bad habit of not asking for fear that you'll say no, or worse yet, that you'll say yes, but really mean no. Can I trust you to take care of yourself?

*This Thanksgiving: Save a turkey; eat a beaver!
*As an American Citizen, I live in a constant state of culture shock.
*If the earth, trees and animals could 'occupy' what would their signs say?
*If my sole power depended on persuading people they are not capable of a direct connection with the divine, could I too be corrupted enough to raid the goddess temples and put priestesses in prison?
*Most radical free thinking visionaries are such contrarians that they typically wont align with any massive social movements, but the unifying rally cry of
Occupy suggests that those who oppose their stance are conforming with the greedy 1%.

Sunday, December 11

Sack-Religious Show Cliff Notes

     We had over 200 participants gather to experience Tantra Theater's holiday show on Dec 8 and 9th at Queen Bee's Art and Culture Center in Northpark.
1) Sister Superior warmed up the audience with an invocation and short sexy sermon.

2) Father Michael inspired "Confessions" by the entire ensemble of writer/performers: Adam, Chris, Coby, Jenn, Nate, Katie and Monique.
3) Michael played an original Song about creation: "Brahma the great creator."
4) Monique shares a deep personal narrative about her tantric awakening and how she become a tantric facilitator after growing up in conservative Utah.
5) Michael offers a dramatic interpretation of "Jesus was way Cool" by King Missile.
6) Adam does Stand up comedy as "Jesus Christ" doing hands on healing and teaching us not only to love one another, but to make love to one another.
7) In this spectacular song and dance number Chris shares about how hard (or not hard) it is to get an erection at his first tantric play party.
INTERMISSION We announce the VIP after party with Naked Butlers!
Special Thanks to Sabrina, Cheri, Bodhi, Manx, Roxanne and Ellen for your Sexy Service!

8) Katie shows us how she fell in love with a foul mouth innocent (played by Jenn) who dared to ask the question: Why did Jesus have to die? Why can't god forgive our sins without a blood sacrifice?
9) Nate rewrites his relationship to self pleasuring using rope as a metaphor for how he's been trapped in his own prison, he untangles himself from his programming and redefines sexual sin as Shame.
10) Coby explores a dark fantasy based on the question: what kind of a twisted perverted bitch hires a prostitute in Vegas on Christmas eve? Or worse yet, IS a prostitute?

11) Michael plays "Satan was way cool" by Beck and then introduces the audience to our version of Hell.

12) Jenn leads the cast in a sensual lap dance to "Devil Inside" by Inxs.

13) Kamala Devi presents Adam with the Golden Lingam award, well deserved recognition for a brilliant performance and for his ongoing support and devotion to other tantra theater players.

We did a Question and Answer panel with the cast at the VIP party with the artist's after the show! We explored the rewards and challenges of the three month personal growth course. Auditions for the next Tantra Theater course will be held again in January.
For more pictures and video go to: www.TantraTheater.TV

Most photos were shot by cast photographer: Julie Kondor Thanks to Rob at Namaste Media, Ankah Desh and Electric Rick!

***This holiday season you can get yourself or your loved ones the gift of a photo shoot. Tantra Theater audience members get a 10% discount.  A personal on location photo shoot with Julie Kondor for the special rate of only $300 a session which usually takes 2-3 hours. She is magic to work with and Kamala Devi personally recommends her for the tantra community.

Saturday, December 3

Inspiration for Sack-Religious Afterparty!

After the Sack-Religious Show, this Thurs & Fri...we're throwing an naughty little VIP after-party with Naked Butlers (only $10) and a Q & A with the Cast. We're extending the invitatation to more people because the space is being renovated! We're excited to announce: Cheri, Roxanne, Manx, Sabrina, Bodhi and Ellen are our Sexy Servers!

Get Tickets Today!
Hope to see you there!

Thursday, December 1

The Sack-Relgious Show is on Thursday & Friday!!

 Cum all ye who are Religious in the Sack! Photo ©AnkhaDesh

Why I hate the Holidays: 

   After Black Friday, every year, I pack up for a holiday retreat...which usually involves leaving the civilized western world to get the hell away from the comercial temptation to shop for stupid stocking stuffers and sugar cookies.  Having been raised by wrathful and guilt-ridden Jewish & Catholic parents, I have a double dose of disdain for the overblown religiosity of the season.  

       Recently, as the mother of a bright eyed 4 year old boy, who's birthday falls in the midst of all the holiday madness...I've come to realize that it's not all about me. (Imagine that!)  Perhaps there's something more. Something even deeper for me to explore...?

But how can I bear to wear ugly sweaters drink egg-nog and maintain my  Ba-humbug-I'm too sexy for the Grinch like attitude?  I'm curious. Really. I want to know what a true tantric christmas looks like. 

This year, instead of running away, I'm staying in San Diego to face my demons.  Better yet, I'm going to cover myself in plum pudding and wrestle the dreaded Santa Beast myself. (Ho! Ho! Ho!) Who wants to watch?

     Tantra Theater is producing a spectacularly naughty little production called "The Sack-Religious Show"  with 9 talented performance artists who are willing to get emotionally naked onstage. We each have a diverse degree of religious damage that we are willing to divulge for your entertainment and enlightenment.  Add spice to your holiday season with this radical variety show we celebrate our religious freedom and right to free speech with music, dance, song, and comedy about sex and spirit. 

Writer / Performers:
Katie, Adam, Chris, Coby, Jenn, Michael, Monique and Nate. AND DID I MENTION KATIE? Directed by Kamala Devi 

VIP After-Party:
Register early so that you can attend this exciting extra event.
After the Show a select group of audience members will be ushered to an intimate back room where they will snuggle and play and enjoy  holiday hors d'oeuvres served by naked butlers. The Cast and Crew will also make an appearance and engage in a lively Q & A.  Register early so you can get intimate with the cast in this private setting. Space is limited to the FIRST 30  people, only $10 extra.

$25 Early Bird Online
$30 at the Door
$50 Both Nights + free VIP party!
Contact or buy online at