Monday, December 29

Betty Page Passes

Hi Lovers,
I'm curled up by my wood-burning fireplace nostalgically reflecting on the year and writing my last newsletter of 2008!
A low-light of the season is that one of my idols, Betty Page the 1950's pin-up model died last Thursday. Her image aided the sexual revolution in the 60's, but her later years were marked by depression, violent mood swings and mental illness. She died in the hospital of pneumonia at age 85. May her beauty live on in the hearts of her admirers.
In reflecting on this years highlights, I admit it's hard to separate my professional wins from my personal wins...I guess that's what happens when you're living your passion!

My top five professional highlights are:
5. Getting interviewed on the Tyra Banks Show in New York.
4. First Annual Tantra Palooza Festival in our back yard Tent.
3. A spontaneous trip to Zegg in Germany to be in a documentary.
2. Leading a solstice ritual with 135 tantrikas in our backyard.
1. Releasing a new book with Baba Dez: Sacred Sexual Healing!

FREE GIFT: To thank you for being such supportive readers, we are uploading our first chapter for free, it's called: What is Tantra, Anyway? It clearly defines various branches of tantra theory and practice. Also, if you didn't read last week's email, you can still get your 10 page report on tantra terms and concepts AND we have one more gift coming before the year is through!
(To enjoy your download, Simply Click Here right NOW! Or cut and paste this into your browser:

Starting in Feb. next year we have a bunch of exciting new offers in the works such as:
Monthly Goddess Gatherings (First Saturdays)
Monthly Sacred Snuggle Parties (First Saturdays)
Regular Advanced Sacred Sexual Play Parties (invite only) Cobra Breath Initiation with Kip and Lexi (March 20-22)
Tantra Theater Weekend with Freddy Zental (April 17-19)
Free Love Fundamentals with REiD Mihalko (May and Nov!)
Tantra Teacher Training with Shawn Roop (June 22-28)
Tantra Palooza Festival with 9 teachers (9/9/09!)

We'll still offer 90 day courses such as: How to Write a book, Artist way, Sisters in Truth, Erotic Way, Tantra Theater Troope and Brothers in Truth! Keep checking our calnendar for details:
Warm Hugs,
Kamala Devi

Monday, December 22

Devi laughed through the whole showing of "Four Christmases" --Finally a family that is more disfunctional than hers!

Friday, December 19

Devi saw "The day the Earth stood Still" and is pleased that a sci fi action film actually had an environmental message. (But a lame ending)

Wednesday, December 17


Most Frequently Asked Questions in 2009

When I wanted to study Tantra in India, I wrote my spiritual guru and asked what I should expect. He wrote, "When you get the calling to go on pilgrimage, leave your ego behind and come be with God.” When I asked how I should prepare, he wrote back: “There is no preparation.”

That may have worked in India, but this is California, and most my students want to know how to prepare… so I’ve put together the following "Frequently Asked Questions"… ultimately, however, direct experience begins when we let go of all expectations.

If you have any questions that are not addressed here, don't hesitate to write or call: 858-272-2254 Enjoy the Dance,

Kamala Devi

What if I have little or no prior Tantra experience?
What can I expect at your tantra events?
How do I register?
Why do you charge for spiritual events?
Do you Guarantee your events?
How do I prepare?
What if I’m nervous?
Is Clothing Optional?
What are the rules?
Can I arrive Late?
What do I bring to the Potluck?
How many people can attend?
Are your events open to singles?
Will the event be Gender Balanced?
Do you offer events for Gay, Lesbian, transgender and bisexuals?
Do you offer privates or Tantric Massage for Men?
Are you available for public speaking?

1. What if I have little or no prior Tantra experience?
We have a diverse community with a wide range of experiences and beliefs. We welcome people of all levels, and celebrate when someone shows up with beginner’s mind. You do not need Tantra experience to enjoy most of the talks, potlucks, parties and pujas that we offer. The only time you will be required to have Tantra experience is if the event is labeled “Advanced.” Otherwise we celebrate beginners and are excited to share our practices and community with you.

2. What can I expect at your Tantra events?
After finding parking in our busy beach neighborhood, take off your shoes and coats and leave your worries at the door. Someone will likely give you a warm hug and help you with registration. Our house is your house. If you brought food you can put it on the buffet, if you brought blankets you can put them on the floor, if you brought personal belongings, you can set them out of the way. You can mix and mingle until it’s time to open the sacred circle.
We like to start our events on time (within 5 or 10 minutes of the posted time.) Kamala will ring a singing bowl to get everyone’s attention and we usually start with a few breaths or a brief chant such as “Om” or “Namaste.” We will then go over any housekeeping notes and the road map for the event and introduce any guest speakers. We almost always start with a “talking stick” exercise in which will go around the room and ask a specific question. After each person has spoken the group may say “Aho” which is a native American term which means “you have been heard.”
If the event is a “Tantra talk” we will offer a lecture, or presentation followed Question and Answers.
If the event is a “Play Party” we will go over the social agreements (AKA Rules) and do several icebreakers and warm ups before officially beginning the party which is usually two hours of self directed play before a closing circle.
If the event is a “Puja” the participants will form a circle around the room and be asked to pair up for various exercises involving movement, breath and sound which will be described in detail by the facilitator. If you came as a couple, we encourage you to mix and mingle with others in the room, but you are always welcome to stay with your partner throughout the evening. Please discuss this with your partner before you arrive so that you don’t have to work through it during the puja.
If the event is a “Playshop” there will be a variety of exercises that involve the group, small groups, pairs and individual practices or “solo” practice.
All of our events close with a closing circle in which we gather, hold hands, hug, massage and/or chant.
Everything is always optional at all of our events. After receiving the instructions, and if you are not comfortable you are welcome to leave at any time. You will be thanked for taking care of yourself.

3. How do I register?
Our events often sell out, so we recommend you RSVP approx. 3 weeks in advance. Once you’ve cleared your schedule please write with your name and phone number.
You can send a check made out to: Zendow, inc. in the mail to:
Zendow, Inc. 1140 Emerald St. San Diego, CA 92109
For weekend retreats we ask that you mail your checks in with at least a $100 deposit to hold your space.
For most evening Play Parties and one day playshops you can pay at the door.
Because space is limited, we ask that you give us at least 24 hours notice if you must cancel. If you have registered, but do not show up we ask that you still honor your agreement and send the full tuition in anyway. Thank you.
We are not currently set up for credit cards, but if you prepare to use pay-pal you can send the tuition to but we ask that you add 6% to the total for the online transaction fee. Thank you.

4. Why do you charge for spiritual events?
We pride ourselves in offering events with high caliber Tantra practitioners and teachers from across the country. The tuition not only establishes your commitment, but helps cover space and administrative fees as well. We are proud to be able to pay for the facilitator's time and energy for organizing the event. We thank you for supporting our vision and our growing temple.

5. Do you Guarantee your tantra events?
We are so confident in the quality of the teachings we offer that we are happy to offer a money back guarantee. If you come to the group and after the opening circle, if you do not feel you've gotten your value, we’re happy to refund your money, no questions asked. We know this is deep work, and that it is not for everyone, and only you know what's best for you. We will always thank you for taking care of yourself if you have to leave for any reason.

6. How do I prepare?
After you RSVP to, you will be sent a confirmation on what to bring and how to prepare. Please Come early to handle parking and registration. Generally speaking you will be asked to wear something that makes you feel comfortable and beautiful. Pillows are provided, but you are welcome to bring a blanket, towel and or camping cushion to share with the group. Since shoes are not allowed in the house you can bring socks or slippers to wear inside if you like to keep your feet warm. Most importantly, bring an open mind!

7. What if I'm nervous?
“Fear is simply excitement without the breath.” So take a deep breath, feel the fear, and join us anyway. We welcome your nervousness, insecurity, and shyness. Come as you are. Be yourself. You don’t even have to pretend to be positive and/or spiritual if you’re having a bad day. It's our experience that nervousness shifts faster if you accept it, than if you try to change it! Be authentic, be real, be in the moment, be you.

8. Is clothing optional?
Most of our "tantra talks" and "Partner-Playshops" are fully clothed with no sexually explicit behavior. We sometimes heat our lightly chlorinated jacuzzi and open it to the community; the hot tub is a safe and relaxing space to be fully nude. Clothing is also optional at our "Sacred Snuggle Parties" and some women chose to go topless or during summer months strip down to their panties. Every other month, we offer "Red events" such as "Advanced Sacred Sexual Play Parties" or "Nude Pujas" or "Naked Yoga" wherein we lead a disrobing rituals for men and women. However, unless the event specifies that there will be nudity, you will not be expected to disrobe.

9. What are the rules?
(1) First and foremost: Honor yourself and your own boundaries. You are responsible for your own emotions, thoughts, body and spiritual practice. (You are a divine incarnation of Love, don't let anyone treat you otherwise.)

(2) Treat other members with love, honor and respect, this includes emails as well as MeetUps and Playshops. Tantra is an umbrella for a wide variety of spiritual and sexual practices, we celebrate diversity and do not expect you to conform to any single idea or philosophy.

(3) Hugging is a customary greeting (but not necessary) at MeetUps and Playshops. Touching, cuddling, and other forms of connecting are 100% optional, consensual and voluntary. We implore that you ask someone (verbally or nonverbally) before engaging in any kind of touch, if they decline, please honor their boundaries and give them as much space as they need.

(4) This is not a singles or polyamorous dating group. There are a number of single members who may decide to date people they meet in this group but there are also a number of coupled and/or married members who are not looking to date anyone else. Your lifestyle is up to you. We do not advocate monogamy or polyamory. We do however, insist that all of our members observe a practice of honesty, respect and integrity about their romantic relations.

(5) If you feel you have not be treated with respect, or have any concern about your safety, please communicate with your organizers. Call or email with questions and concerns. Kamala (at)

(6) If you do not respect the boundaries of other members, or if the organizer receives complaints about your behavior, you will be removed from the email list.

10. Can I arrive late?
Most of our rituals and gatherings are structured with a formal “opening circle,” therefore we maintain a strict rule that the doors will close at a pre-determined time and no one new will be admitted afterward. If you're interested in the event, but have a scheduling conflict, I suggest you look into adjusting your plans to be here as early as possible, and if you cannot make it by the opening circle, we hope you can join us for another event in the future. Please let us know what you decide.

11. What do I bring to the community potluck?
If the event is a potluck, you are invited to bring a yummy dish for about 6 people. We have a number of vegans and vegetarians in our group who aren't comfortable with the presence of red meat, so as a compromise we allow chicken and fish but have drawn the line at red meat. (No alcohol, drugs or red meat.) Most food offerings are healthy and home cooked, but if you live out of town, or don’t have time to cook, we live about a block away from Trader Joes and Henrys which have a deli with a number of fresh and healthy offerings. Please consider protein, rice, pasta, dessert and don’t forget drinks. In order to save trees we are committed to using real plates and we ask that you wash your own dish at the end of the meal. Thank you.
According to REiD Mihalko, "It doesn't matter if your friend is a man or a woman or something in between. You just can't attend solo! Why? 'Cause it takes at least two to tango, and if everyone brings a friend, then we're all guaranteed to have PLENTY of people to tango with! The person that you come with (your Buddy System buddy) is not the person you necessarily have to stay with, but you can't come alone.

12. How many people can attend?
We’re grateful to have such popular monthly events. Our capacity depends on which room we utilize. The Emerald Temple has three great spaces. For deep intimate classes, our meditation room hosts between 6-12 people. But for workshops and playshops our meditation room can comfortably accommodate up to 20 people sitting on pillows on the floor. For parties and playshops we generally use our living room with couches and chairs we can accommodate up to 40 people. During the “summer” season from April to September we set up a beautiful Moroccan tent so that we can accommodate up to 60 people in one room. And then there are special occasions wherein we might open the whole house and have a festival with over 100 people!

13. Are your events open to singles?
There are many warm and wonderful singles as well as couples, and a number of people who are in alternative relationships such as “open Marriage” or “Polyamory.” Your relationship status and sexual preference will never be assumed. Unless the event is already filled up, or labeled “Couples Only” we welcome singles with open arms.

14. Will the tantra events be gender balanced?
We often hold events for women Only. Occasionally we hold events for only men. However, most of our events are balanced with about equal numbers of men and women. In the past we have announced, “ We do NOT gender balance: so if you are a man and you are uncomfortable practicing Tantra with another man, then this event may not appropriate for you.” Many men have experienced profound growth and insight by practicing Tantra with another man.
Recently we started offering "Sacred Sensual Play Parties" and have noticed the male attendance grow disproportionately large. Perhaps it’s a sign that men in our culture need more touch. Or perhaps women are shy in attending a new party format. In any case, we are experimenting with different modes of gender balancing. Sometimes we offer $10 off for women to encourage their attendance. And Sometimes we will hold a women’s event immediately before the play party.
If we are noticing that there is a large number of single men, we may cut off registration and only allow women and couples to register. Men will then be put on the waiting list, where they can attend if they find a date, or they will be notified if a single woman registered so that you can register.
We're also beta testing the "buddy system." Where you are required to register in pairs.
The bottom line is: if you are interested in registering simply write, and we will let you know whether the event is being gender balanced or not.

15. Do you offer sacred sexuality events for lesbian, gay, transgender and bisexual people?
San Diego has a huge and vast tantra community, unfortunately however, there are not many gay and lesbian specific events. I am a bisexual woman and I always welcome other bi’s gays and lesbians to my events. Several times a year I host a "Women Loving Women" event for bisexual and lesbian women. I also offer a "Bisexual Women's Circle for Ritual and Magic" There are many lesbian and bisexual people in our monthly "Tantra and Poly Gatherings"….and if you are interested in private sessions or brining me into a gay and lesbian community to teach Tantra…I would love to work with you!

16. Do you offer private sessions or tantric massage?
Yes. Kamala Devi is in high demand. She has narrowed her private coaching practice to 7-14 people per week. And she is primarily working with women, couples and fellow tantra teachers. She only takes sincere seekers who are willing to commit to a 90 day period. Her private practice is currently full. She has a waiting list for 2009. If you are interested in an introductory or initial tele-session for $108 please go to:
If you are a man looking for a tantric massage, Kamala recommends her sisters and colleagues: Kypris Aster Drake at Mare Asha Simone at or Goddess Jeanette at Please let them know that Kamala recommended you.

17. Are you available for public speaking?
Kamala Devi is currently booking 3-6 months in advance and would love to co-create an event for your group, conference or organization. Please send me an email with a brief description of who you are and what your group is looking for, what your budget is and if it's a match, we would love to schedule a time to co-create! If you prefer please call Kamala directly at 858-272-2254 or write

Devi pulled the blankets over her head this morning and slept in as long as she could before going out into the rain.

Monday, December 15

Devi is curled up by the fireplace working on her new book and enjoying the rain.

Saturday, December 13

Devi is marveling over her vulva after attending Shawn and Ariel's daylong yoniversity... And the rain is falling like amrita from the sky!

Friday, December 12 - New Photo: Kamala Devi in Black

Thursday, December 11

Devi wonders when NFNC's west Summer Camp is scheduled this year...Does anyone know? Who's going? Last years site: - Kamala and Reid pose for Reality TV Show about Poly

Wednesday, December 10

Devi loves political theater... (especially when it's queer and involves jack black) check it out:
Devi is meditating on the Power of Three.

Tuesday, December 9

Devi is sitting in the sunlight and marveling at all the Miracles in her life...thank you for being a part of the magic!

Monday, December 8

Devi is digesting a delightful veggie meal with tantra master shawn roop!!! - Free Love Fundamentals with Reid Mihalko

25 things I want to do before I kick the Bucket

Do you remember that book, "Everything I need to Know I learned in Kindergarten?" Well, about 10 years ago, I was listening to a talk by the author, Robert Fullgrum, and he suggested that we write a list of "Twenty Five Things I want to do before we die." And then keep that list in our wallets so that we can refer to it often. Being the geek that I am, I actually laminated my list and while clearing out my wallet I read it over. About 10 of the items are completed, and ofcourse, several were outdated (I no longer want to live in New York), so I updated it a bit and here is my current list of

"25 things I want to do before I kick the Bucket."

1.Write a Book
2. Back-pack through Europe with a Eurorail pass
3.record my grandparents telling stories
4. Make and maintain a garden
5. Take up cooking
6. Learn to play a musical instrument
7. Have people look up to me for my organizational skills
8. Teach Theater
9. Start an alternative theater company with a physical space
10. Earn a certificate in hyptnotherapy
11. Sing in front of an audience
12. get an art showing with my wire sculptures
13. write and perform a one woman show
14. Live in a Spanish speaking country for over a year
15. Have my book become a New York times best seller
16. Tour a group of students to study tantra in India
17. Travel to Australia
18. Get a tatoo that has meaning to me
19. Have one of my plays produced in New York
20. Discover a young female artist and support her full expression
21. Provide for my children's college education
22. Develop multiple streams of income that support me and my family
23. Love as much and as many people as the universe allows
24. Develop wrinkles from laughing so much!
25. Make a contribution to Humanity

I'd love to see your list. Please click on the comment button and send me a few! Happy Solstice, KD

Kamala Devi
Last chance to get 6 FREE bonus gifts when you buy our NEW book
Jan. 10th Goddess Gathering: Manifestation Circle for the New Year
Jan. 10th Sacred Snuggle Party
Call: 858-272-2254 T-Th
exhales after her last social enagement in 2008! I'm now officially on writing retreat, Baby!

Sunday, December 7

Highly Recommends the movie MILK about Gay motivated Kamala to be even MORE on purpose in the world.

Friday, December 5

I just got back from a social media networking conference and my head is spinning, I'm intoxicated with ideas!

Wednesday, September 24


Today is the Autumnal Equinox.
A special window when the forces of Light and Dark are equal.
We've chosen this time, 3:44 PST to Launch our new site!


Today also marks the 100 day countdown until the new year.
We can work together to heal the wounds of the world,
and approach 2009 from a place of power and wholeness!
But as you know, peace and healing must begin from within.

That's why we challenge you to release your limiting blocks
to buy and read our revolutionary new book:
"Sacred Sexual Healing: The SHAMAN Method of Sex Magic"

For a limited time We offers SIX FREE BONUS GIFTS
to transform your lower desires into a higher, more abundant vibration!

To activate your healing journey, go to

Baba Dez & Kamala Devi
P.S. What are you waiting for?

Extreme Wife with Dawn Porter

See us in a British TV Documentary Series. Channel 4 Tuesday 30 September 10pm

In episode one, Dawn immerses herself in the world of polyamory – or free love. Not quite ready to settle down with one man, Dawn is curious to find out what it is like to live in a relationship but share partners freely. Her journey begins in San Diego, California where a husband and wife run a kind of free love school to open people up to the idea of polyamory.

"They're going to open me up and cleanse my chakras and introduce me to the idea of multiple lovers," explains Dawn. "I've got no idea what to expect but I think there's going to be quite a lot of groping".

Trying to discover if there's more to the free love world than just sex, Dawn experiments with role playing and physical group exercises, before finishing off with a frank, fact-finding session in the school hot tub.

Next it's off to Germany were Dawn visits Zegg, a 1960's style commune isolated in former East Germany, where members live a polyamorous, utopian lifestyle. Idyllic on the surface, Dawn digs deeper to discover the cost of free love – fear of abandonment, jealousy, competition – and meets some of its victims. And, before she leaves, Dawn has a chance to experience one of the most extreme and controversial practices of this unusual community.
"It's intoxicating to feel that the normal rules and limits of society don't apply to you," muses Dawn. "I can imagine a life where I didn't have to choose one man but I also witnessed the downside. I think free love sounds great on paper but the price is too high for me".

Monday, September 15

Sacred Snuggle Party at WBW

Every Year hundreds of like minded spiritual beings flock to the 3-day Love Fest in the hills of Idylwild, known as the Whole Being Weekend. The natural retreat boasts of over 60 personal growth workshops, organic vegetarian meals and Concerts and meditations. It's also a unique opportunity to practice with tantra pioneers such as the late Robert Frey, Francoise, Kelly Bryson and Mare Asha Simone.
This year, I was overwhelmed with honor when Francoise invited me to host the first annual Sacred Snuggle Party! I also have to admit, I was a scared stiff. The Sacred Snuggle Party can be an ego-confronting labratory for even the most experienced tantra practitioners, how would it be received by this large and mixed crowd of novices, healers and teachers alike. And how the hell was I going to make the concrete floors of the dancing lodge soft enough to snuggle?
During the Karl Anthony Concert I snuck into the lodge, plopped down in the middle of the floor and prayed to Ganesha. I asked God, my guides, and my gurus for help on this intimidating task. Within a half hour, dozens of helping hands showed up willing to set up mood lights, lay down carpets, even steal mattresses out of unused cabins so that we could create a huge community playground. Brad Buffet (AKA one of the Parking Gods) stepped in to work my sound system and shoot a few video clips of me teaching...check out this you tube video of the opening invocation.
So after about ha half hour of social agreements (aka Rules) we turned down the lights and up the music: Buddha Bar sensual snuggle sounds and indulged in a sweet and sensuous snuggle session! I hope you had as much fun as I did.

Tuesday, September 9

Tuesday, September 2

Open Relationships on the Tyra Banks Show

Imagine a day time talk show had a gay or lesbian couple sitting on the 'hot seat' describing how they met, fell in love, decided to buy a house and have a baby together; and various members of the audience said:
1. "I think it's disgusting!"
2. "It undermines the sacred institution of marriage!"
3. "I don't care what you do in bed, but it's not right to bring a child into it."
This might be expected 30 years ago, or if it was recorded anonymously in middle America, but if it aired today on prime time TV, it would be considered old news, reflecting outdated morals.
AND YET--My husband and I were flown out to the Tyra Banks show in NYC this weekend to talk about our OPEN MARI GAGE in front of a live studio audience. My first open relationship from 12 years ago and my current girlfriend of 8 years were sitting beside us, holding our hands as we described how we own a house and have a baby--and the audience responded with the three verbatim judgments from above.
The point I'm trying to make is that I find myself among a handful of pioneers who are on the forefront of educating people about responsible non-monogamous options. The Gay and Lesbian movement has made leaps and bounds progress beyond the Polyamorous movement by proving to the public that it is not only an alternative lifestyle, but a viable sexual orientation. Similarly, It is my experience that every individual is not only oriented towards the same, opposite, or both sexes, their orientation is either single (monogamous) or Plural (polyamorous) and in some cases none (Celibate.) This orientation is subject to change at different stages in ones life. This is an important political point because bisexual people in multiple relationships (like me) are easily discriminated against because of their "lifestyle," but if our disposition is seen as an "orientation" we may be granted some of the same compassion, rights and privileges as the gay and lesbian community.
To simplify my argument, why should a bisexual woman like myself be legally forced to chose between her husband and her girlfriend? Personally, I don't care what the government has to say about marriage, as they have no business in matters of the heart, but I don't like being called disgusting and have my parental decisions be judged just because I love more than one person.
The Tyra Banks Show will be airing in Sept. If you'd like to be on our mailing list to get details, please write: and if you're interested in reading more about the polyamours option read chapter 11 in Kamala Devi and Baba Dez Nichol's new book: Sacred Sexual Healing.

Monday, September 1

Green Room for the Tyra Banks show

Here we are in the waiting room of the Tyra Banks Show.
After walking through security and giving up our cameras and cell phones, we asked the 6'4 black security guard to take this picture.
You'll notice that this is BEFORE they air-brushed our faces with make up and made the women wear fake eye-lashes. (scroll down for the AFTER picture)

I tried to tell the make up artist to go easy on me, because I usually don't wear make up, but he said,
"What? You don't like no one messing with your eyes?"
To which Cain quipped:
"What mammal does?"
Afterwards, we were presented with a 5 page contract in which we agree to experience multiple surprises while on stage.
Again, Cain joked, "I signed that one when I came to planet Earth."

Cain is my ex boyfriend. He was the first man that ever introduced me to Tantra and open relationships when we lived together in a drumming commune in Hawaii 12 years ago! I'm so grateful that he agreed to appear on TV with me, my husband, and Sarasvati, my girlfriend of 8 years.

None of us had seen the Tyra Banks show prior to being asked to appear on it. We're not the TV watching type. When I googled Tyra, I saw several "youtube" clips of her nearly naked modeling a diamond studded bra and disrobing onstage! She's an ex-fashion model who's now an Emmy award winning talk show host. Her producers describe her as the next Oprah, but after meeting her, I'm positive day time tv success depends largly on who you know and how you look .

As expected, the wardrobe department prepared us like runway models. Cain's shirt was too "spiritual" so they gave him more of a butterfly collar hipster "swinger" look (even though we were forbidden from using the word 'swinger' onstage.) Sara was given a busty new bra. Michael's undershirt was swapped out for "pit guards" which are cotten sticky pads designed to catch under-arm sweat. Finally, my leopard skin scarf was traded for a more colorful choker.
After the aesthetic transformation, they sent us down to the wings where we listened to a top notch comedian warm up the audience.

We were then ushered front and center stage to sit on a couch so Tyra could grill us from her safe little spot in the audience. Some of the questions she asked:

1. Why do you feel the need to bring other lovers into your relationship?

2. How do you handle jealousy?

3. Why get married, why not just sleep around?

4. Do you ever have sex with your girlfriend, while your husband is home?

5. How are you going to explain this to you son?

We all stayed pretty relaxed, confident and spoke from our hearts. There was a fair amount of dramatic opposition, but by the end of the show we feel people were impressed with our authenticity. We're proud to have done our best and trust that our message will be received only by those who are ready for it.

Ultimately, It will be interesting to see what the crack team of film editors does with all our footage...stay tuned!

From Left to Right: Brigeeta, Michael, Sarasvati, Kamala Devi, Cain and Joanna one of Tyra's Producers.

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Saturday, August 2

Why is Equinox so Special?

On Summer Solstices Kamala and Dez hosted a sizzling HOT book release party, complete with erotic strip tease and sensual story telling... Now, the Autumnal equinox is upon us, and we plan to out-do ourselves. What's so special about the Autumnal equinox? It's one of two times a year when the sun crosses the equator, and the day and night are of equal length--approximately 12 hours in duration. During the Fall equinox (Sept. 22, 2007 3:44pmPST) the sun enters the sign of Libra -- the house of balanced scales. This is nature's portal to nondualistic integration. In Tantra, we celebrate the masculine (day) and feminine (night) coming together and creating an opening for divine energy to flow into the human form.
Equinox is a sacred throughout history, across many cultures. In the Pagan practice it is called "Mabon" and is crucial to ensure a hearty final harvest to survive the winter months ahead. The ancient Celts conducted a mock sacrifice of a large wicker figure which represented the spirit of vegetation. This ritual sacrifice has been reborn in the Burning Man Project. Every Fall tens of thousands of people come together to set up a little city on the dried lake bed of Black Rock Desert, Nevada to celebrate life with fire, art and free expression.
One of the central themes in our Book "Sacred Sexual Healing" is bringing heaven to Earth. We feel this fall is the most auspicious time to introduce this book to the broadest possible audience, giving them tools to strike a fulfilling balance between spirituality and sexuality. Thus, we plan to celebrate the equinox it with a massive virtual book launch party. We are putting together a wonderful bundle of free bonus products, including a live tele-seminar where Dez and Kamala reveal secrets that were too controversial to write in the book. If you want details write to and Stay tuned, I'll be sending more juicy details as the date gets closer!

Tuesday, July 1

What is Tantra, Anyway?

Ever hear the famous Zen koan, “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” Monks have meditated on this riddle for years, only to result in an empty mind. The logical head bangs itself against a concrete wall trying to answer the unanswerable. When sincere seekers ask, “What is Tantra?” we might say, “Tantra does not exist outside of you,” and invite them to meditate on their embodiment. But many modern students are stubborn and insist on a mental answer, even if it’s a partial answer, which leads to the common assumption that Tantra is some kind of sexual yoga. (Isn’t it?)

Like Zen, the Tao and Buddhism, Tantra is a path to enlightenment. But understanding the spontaneous nature of this non-linear path will challenge the mind. Our favorite textbook definition of Tantra points to its Sanskrit roots. The prefix “Tan” implies expansion and “tra” means liberation. Thus, Tantra can be interpreted to mean liberation through expansion. Sure, it's poetic, but it’s altogether too intellectual. Tantra doesn’t occur between the ears. Nor does it occur between the legs. If you were to ask Baba Dez what Tantra is, he might outstretch his arms as if he were offering a big embrace and reply, “Tantra encompasses every aspect of living. Tantra is about how we live, how we breathe, eat, sleep, work, play and love. It’s about everything. And the practice of Tantra is a practice of living life in a way that creates power and magic and divinity. It is any practice that supports us in embodying our divinity.”


Our combined explorations in Tantra have led us through a vast continuum of practices that range from Goddess worship to shadow work; from mind-altering meditations to transcendental lovemaking; from erotic massage to chanting in cemeteries; from Sex Magic to self-inquiry. Tantra is like a wise old tree with a vast and deep root system. Some of its more developed branches include:

? Tibetan Tantric Buddhism or Vajrayana Tantra

? Hindu Tantra (Shakta) or village Goddess worship

? Kashmiri Shiviaism or Kaula as taught by Abhinavagupta, or more recently, Daniel Odier

? Taoist healing arts as taught by modern master Mantak Chia

? Kundalini Tantra as popularized by Sikh Yogi Bhajan

? Left-Handed Tantra as practiced by followers of Sri Bhagwan Rajneesh (aka Osho)

? Ipsalu Tantra as taught by Bodhi Avinashina, based on Avatar Baba Ji’s teachings

? Quodoshka practiced by Native Americans, Mayan, Toltec and Cherokee

? Shamanic sexual healing as practiced by aborigines across the planet

? Sex Magic as practiced by Celtic Pagan Covens and Alistair Crawley Cults

? Other types of Tantra, such as Bonpo, Animism, Jain and the sacred path of no-path that comes with direct download and spontaneous awakening

This list is in no way exhaustive or complete, but we can conclusively say that Tantra, like yoga, is not a religion. We’ve encountered Buddhists, Christians, Muslims, Jews and Hindus alike on the Tantric path. There is even a resurgence of teachings that Jesus practiced Tantra with Mary Magdalene. And this lineage sources back to the Egyptian Goddess cult of Isis. Tantra does not exclude any portion of the human experience — it includes the full spectrum of humanity. It embraces not only the light but the shadow. Tantrikas give permission for every experience, especially the shadowy aspects of self that are not usually accepted. Embracing the shadow is embracing our humanity. When we shine the light of acceptance on our darkness it always transforms. Instead of judging or preaching, Tantra meets people wherever they are and offers tools for them to expand. The different types of Tantra appeal to different types of people who have different needs.


Tantra is further subdivided in terms of color: White, Pink and Red. White Tantra orients around the subtle practices and philosophies. Physical touch and sexual practices are not necessary in order to advance on this path. Tibetan Tantric Buddhist monks, for example, can engage in profound love making rites with deities through meditation and visualization. Vajrayana Tantra involves many powerful concentration exercises that bring universal awareness down from the crown chakra into the heart, without activating the lower chakras. Yogi Bhajan's Kundalini Yoga also offers partnered exercises that include eye gazing, and breathing and sounding exercises that circulate and build sensual energy without sexual contact. Similar practices are commonly referred to as Solo Practice, Right-Handed Tantra or the path of the Dakhsini Marga or Bramachari.

Pink Tantra embraces both the spiritual and the sexual aspects of the practice. This is the path where the heart is opened and lovemaking is practiced with honor and reverence. It is a merging of embodied souls, for both pleasure and enlightenment. This path can also encompass transcendental lovemaking, Taoist sexual healing arts and the sweet, sensual exercises in modern Tantra pujas. This path is sometimes referred to as violet, the middle Tantra or the full path.

Red Tantra consists of many passionate sexual practices. Traditionally the color red connotes femininity, potency, passion and sex. This path can be liberating for the sexually repressed and may also hold interest for the sexually obsessed. The fiery Kundalini practices of Red Tantra use taste and touch to experience the primal sexual impulse that can create intense purifications and awakenings. Practitioners of Red Tantra see the sacred in the profane and instead of bringing the Kundalini energy up to the crown, they draw spiritual energy down into the root, sex and power chakras. These Tantrikas are also known as Vama Marga, Left-Handed Path and sometimes negatively called California Tantra or the Cult of Ecstasy.

There is also the lesser talked about branch of Tantra known as Black Tantra (which will not be addressed in this book). This is an aboriginal Shamanic practice, like black magic, which transforms physical energy with or without the consent of all parties involved. During Kamala Devi’s first pilgrimage to India, she was astounded to discover that most Indian villagers feared and revered Tantra and thought of it as witchcraft. It is both feared and revered for its power. The Aghori are an example of an extremely secretive Hindu sect of Black Tantra practitioners. Aghori is a Sanskrit word that means non-terrifying. The practitioners have been known to cover themselves with ash from graveyards and use human bones in their rituals. After years of advanced Tantric practice, many yogis begin to experience siddhis or supernatural powers. These powers can be used for personal gain or for service. Throughout India today, people seek Tantrikas for hire, like wizards or witch doctors. They are paid to cast spells, end legal battles, even burn down someone's farm. Of course, powerful karmic consequences can result from using sexual energy to manipulate others. Many people who begin to play with these superpowers often get lost on their path. Instead of advancing towards enlightenment, Black Tantra may lead people further away from enlightenment.


There's a huge distinction to be made between Black Tantra and Sex Magic. Out of fear or ignorance, many people confuse the two. Sex Magic is controversial not only in our puritanical Western society, but also in Hindu, Tibetan Buddhist and other Tantric belief systems. Most maintain that sexual energy is to be preserved for spiritual advancement not material gain. Throughout this book, we assert a non-dualistic philosophy that does not judge material or sensual pleasures. We teach practices that cultivate sexual life force energy for healing, pleasure and god realization. In Chapter 9, we proudly introduce a powerful, practical and accessible system called the SHAMAN Method of Sex Magic. We offer this method with pure intent and maintain that the practices within this book are safe and heart-centered. Eventually your body’s inner guidance system will tell you what is in your highest good. If you feel yourself expand in love then you are sincere in your practice. If you feel yourself contract in fear, guilt, shame, anger, jealousy or competition, then you may want to stop, breathe and come back to the practice when you’ve raised your vibration. Sending negative energy into the universe may beget negative manifestations, but more likely it won’t manifest anything because lower vibrations drain our personal power, which is necessary in order to manifest.


Tantra may have deep roots in India and Tibet, but new seeds were planted in the West during the sexual revolution of the 1960s and ‘70s, and have been growing like wildflowers ever since! The modern resurgence of the message that sexual liberation can lead to spiritual liberation is often referred to as Neo-Tantra. Various gurus, travelers and teachers have been spreading the word by way of weekend workshops and evening pujas. Some teach techniques for better, longer, more satisfying sex, while others seek enlightenment, liberation and God-realization. The more practical Tantric practices adopted by Western Tantra include balancing chakras, raising the Kundalini, Goddess worship and expanding orgasmic energy. Traditionalists criticize Neo-Tantra and warn that these New Age practices are incomplete without the use of gurus, mantras, yantras, tapas and other disciplines. Many feel that swingers and sex clubs from the ‘70s and ‘80s are usurping the name Tantra for their sexual practices to justify, validate and mask sexual addiction. We maintain that regardless of its many manifestations, Tantra can also be an embodied spiritual path that continues to evolve and spontaneously inspire practitioners at whatever level they are ready.


Shamanism is believed to have originated in Siberia. The word Shaman means “to know” and is the earliest known spirituality sourcing back to prehistoric time beyond measure. Archaeological evidence of Shamanism has been found from 40,000 years ago, and Shamanic practices have existed in every culture throughout history. Shamans have been known to: Heal human suffering, interpret dreams, reveal prophecy, reverse disease, control the weather, project their spirits out of their bodies, exorcise spirits from other bodies, channel animal guides and spiritual entities, shape shift, and time travel. Michael Harner, who has dedicated his life to studying and preserving Shamanic teachings through the Foundation for Shamanic Studies, says, “A Shaman is a type of medicine man or woman especially distinguished by the use of journeys to hidden worlds otherwise mainly known through myth, dream and near-death experiences.” Shamans are widely known as intermediaries who use trance and spirit guides to travel between realms. Trance is induced through singing, dancing, drumming, meditating, breath control, fasting or ingesting natural psychoactive drugs. Both Tantra and Shamanism use specific principles and practices for sexual healing and enlightenment. Some of the basic tools include breath, sound, movement, prayer, chanting, lovemaking and ritual. Tantra is also about cutting through the illusion, veils, dreams and maya so we can break free of the nightmare of the collective unconscious. Scholar of Tibetan Shamanism, Terence McKenna, makes the correlation between Shamanism and Tantra apparent in his book The Archaic Revival. He states that Shamans “use archaic techniques of ecstasy that were developed independent of any religious philosophy.” He further defines ecstasy as “the contemplation of wholeness.”


Have you ever had that mystical sense that we are all one? Do you remember the last time you felt totally connected? That’s the essence of Advaita, or non-dual Tantric philosophy. Advaita is a Sanskrit word meaning “not two.” It maintains that all matter, regardless of its distinctly different properties, may appear to be separate but is still connected to the whole of existence. In other words, non-duality is the philosophical perspective that separation is an illusion. There is a classical metaphor of a clay pot used to answer the oft-asked question, “If it is all one thing why don’t I experience it that way?” The clay exists before the potter forms it into an individual pot. The pot is then used to carry water, and though it has a specific function, it is not separate from the clay. Even after the pot is broken, the clay remains. Advaita points out that the clay exists in the past, present and future. Though it may change shape and function, the individual pot is always made of clay. Similarly, everything in the world, from mineral to man, may have a different appearance and function, but ultimately it’s all made of source energy. Another Tantric approach to the non-dual nature of reality is the practice of self-inquiry. In order to transcend the ego and experience union with the absolute, the guru Ramana Maharish advocates that we ask ourselves, Who am I? Through a devoted pursuit to know oneself, seekers discover that they are not separate from the one who is sought. Take a deep breath, now, and notice the words you are seeing on this page. If you are looking at these words, where does the looking stop and the looker begin? Can you pinpoint where your eyes are reading? Where does your comprehension stop and YOU begin? Who are you? Consider the possibility that the words being seen, the seeing and the seer are all one. In the sincere contemplation of self, the ego ultimately dissolves into oneness. We challenge you to continue this contemplation throughout every action of the day. (Beginners be warned! You may get enlightened, but you may also get a headache.) Sri Bagwan Rajneesh AKA Osho implores you to contemplate opposites if you want to experience enlightenment. In Tantra, we explore the polarities of male/female, giving/receiving, active/passive, self/other, mind/body, naughty/nice, even dualism/non-dualism to lead us to greater levels of truth. Tantra is a non-dual spiritual practice that embraces and transcends the illusion of separation. Instead of seeing the body as the opposite of spirit, the body is accepted as a spiritual vessel. Rumi illuminates this teaching in his poetry: Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase, each other doesn’t make any sense. Translated by John Moyne and Coleman Barks Sexual excitement carries within it the impulse for two to become one. One does not have to practice Tantra to experience the urge to merge, but a true Tantrika understands that this primal impulse to copulate is also the desire to commune with God. Wanting to connect with the beloved comes from wanting to acquaint our selves with the divine. We embrace the illusion that we are separate because without it, we couldn’t share the juicy experience of reconnecting with the beautiful light from which we originally separated. It is a cosmic game of hide and seek, a divine play. We separate into many forms and creations not only to merge again, but also to explore the vast kaleidoscope of possible experience. From the perspective of non-dual realization, one can easily see that all physical matter is a manifestation of divine energy. Some manifestations are more subtle and some more dense, but they are all equal expressions of the divine. God exists in both the sacred and the profane. God’s grace can be felt equally from the highest bell tower as from the darkest storage basement. Divinity is acknowledged not only in the beautiful food one eats, but also in what our bodies later excrete. Prayer can be equally powerful through worship at a sacred altar or through anal sex with a conscious lover. Full Tantric non-dual philosophy recognizes that we are half human, half animal and all divine.


In Tantra and Shamanism, meditation does not have to be still and silent. We invite our whole body and all of our senses into whatever we’re doing whether walking, eating, or making love. In every meditation there is the component of listening to God, which means we are listening to the minute and magnificent details of the moment and tuning in to the great creation within and around us. During a walking meditation we may notice the sounds of the birds and whatever other creatures cross our paths. These signs of infinite intelligence abound. In eating, we savor the fullness of each flavor. In making love, we are listening to the body, breath, and smile of the beloved. We notice how God animates the beloved, thereby making love to the divine. Magic happens when people feel listened to with such reverence and attention that they open, to unfurl and glow. Their God self shines through.


Where is your awareness right now? Are you thinking about a past lovemaking experience or something you have to do? Perhaps your body is aching and crying out for some attention. What's happening right now… right now… and right now? All three “right nows” are separate moments, and when we pay attention to the subtlety of every moment, we can connect with the abundance of creativity and love that is available right here and now. In Buddhist theory, this concept is referred to as mindfulness. Today it’s a popular spiritual teaching that is incorporated into modern stress management programs. It is generally accepted that if we practice mindfulness in everything we do, we experience the richness that life has to offer. Sex therapists, educators and surrogates are constantly helping people learn to slow down. Anxiety, stress and tension are the primary causes of most sexual dysfunctions. To help couples and individuals increase sexual mindfulness and decrease sexual anxiety, Masters and Johnson introduced a series of sexual exercises called “Sensate Focusing.” These exercises are widely used in the therapeutic community and in Tantra 101 classes and detailed in the Appendix as Exercise #1. These simple techniques can be practiced at home or in conjunction with a comprehensive psychotherapy program. Sensate focusing can be used for restorative healing of sexual dysfunction or to bring more presence, conscious awareness and competency to the Tantra seeker.

Tantra is experiential. Now that we have introduced some basic theory, we can commence the practice. In the next chapter we present the three most basic tools for creating a sacred sexual healing practice: breath, boundaries and chakras. Read on to discover how treating your body like a sacred temple will expand your healing, pleasure and ability to manifest magic.

To purchase your copy of Sacred sexual Healing by Baba Dez Nichols and Kamala Devi go to

Tuesday, January 1

A Tantric Birth Story

Baby Devin Echo McClure was born 7 Lbs. 12. Oz. 21 inches long on 1/13/07

It's impossible to describe a birth contraction to someone who's never had one. The closest thing I could compare it to is an orgasm, except instead of producing pleasure, the sensation is anywhere between a light fluttering and an excruciating seizure that lasts from 20 seconds to a couple of minutes. And then it's gone. The pressure disappears and it's like, what the hell just happened? My first contractions came before winter solstice and continued inconsistently for over a month. We called them "surges" and had many sleepless nights of "practice" labor. When I was nearly 43 weeks pregnant the midwife at the birthcenter encouraged us to consider natural methods of induction, so that she wouldn't have to transfer us to the hospital where the mainstream medical protocol is to administer heavy pharmaceuticals or surgery to late term women. But the night before my scheduled acupuncture appointment, I had a lucid and disturbing dream: Someone was trying to pierce my nipple and the baby kicked so hard you could see it's little leg kicking at the walls of my womb, from the inside. When lying on the treatment table, I re-told my dream to my acupuncturist, Jess, and she agreed "this kid does not want to be rushed." So instead of inducing, she referred me to a homebirth midwife who'd allow me to wait until the baby was ready. Michael and I had about 3 days to turn our home into a free standing birth center complete with plastic sheets, rubber gloves and a warm hot tub.
On Friday Jan. 12th 2007 we finally called Jess to come and hang out with us while I labored on the couch. When Jess arrived she informed us that it was a record-breaking cold winter night and decided to drive back home to retrieve extra space heaters. When Michael plugged them into the wall, they overwhelmed our old circuitry and caused power outages. I lay on my back clenching my fists and counting my breaths while Michael rushed around the house flipping power switches and hanging blankets over doorways for extra insulation. I went thru my 'hypnobirthing" script by visualizing a smooth easy 3-hour birth. But the surges came like painful pulses from outer space. The sensation was otherworldly, and when they were consistently 3 minutes apart for over 2 hours we called the midwife. By the time the birth team arrived, I was spontaneously chanting Om with every exhalation, and when that got old, I used other mantras like Open, Om Mani Pad Me Hum, and Sat Nam.
I labored on the couch, the toilet, the hot tub, but according to the midwifes, the anterior lip of my cervix still had to melt away before I could push. I wanted relief, I wanted to run, I wanted drugs, I wanted to chew on a nearby tree-trunk. Finally, my midwife followed me to the bathroom to have a chat...births usually stalls because of fear, she asked, "What are you afraid of?" I searched my soul and told her that I felt like an animal. My pain-body was so overwhelming I couldn't access my spiritual guidance. She asked me what I needed: to chant, to dance, to read scripture? Perhaps I have a picture of a guru or some other spiritual symbol that would help me. But a tantrikas strength comes from within, and I knew only direct experience was going get me through this. I kneeled down off the toilet, took her hands in mine and prayed. "I'm ready now," I said, then marched into my bedroom to puke my guts out.
When I opened my eyes, I saw the divine looking back at me. There were five goddesses in the room in addition to Michael, and with each surge they chanted: Down, Down, Down Devin Down. They were a chorus of temple priestesses while Michael's deep voice anchored me as it calmly coached me to breath down through my yoni. I was high from the endorphins, serotonin and oxytocin. I was high on Love. Michael said my eyes were big and wild like a feral cat with a bird in her mouth. Each surge came like a transcendent wave of light. I followed my inhalation up, out my forehead and used tantric cobra breath to bring my awareness back down to my yoni. I left my body. My mission: to stretch out into the world of spirit and bring my son safely down into the world of form. I changed positions from spread eagle on my side, to squatting, to the birthing chair, to slow dancing, to straddling Michael's lap.
After two hours of these gymnastics, when Devin's maleable head started to crown, I squatted against Jess's knees so that Michael would be free to catch him. The last thought that went through my mind before breathing Devin out was, I'm going to bring down Michael's son. I heard someone say "Your baby is here." And other excited voices celebrating as if they were at the end of a long tunnel. "Slow. Be Careful. He's cord-wrapped." I could hear the midwife coaching Michael on how to unwrap the cord--twice around his neck and once around his abdomen. Then somebody placed him on my belly. I heard him sneeze, he coughed out the amniotic fluid and then cried. My baby was crying. I looked around the room and found eyes, but otherwise I only saw little points of light.
I looked down and made out the back of my baby's head. His hair seemed sticky and black. "Can you turn him so I can look into his eyes?" I asked. And Michael gently rotated his little body. As soon as he looked up, he latched on to my breast and started sucking. Whoa. Now I could see again. His sucking pulled me back into my body. I was holding his head to my breast and experiencing his intense thirst for life. My baby boy is born. I looked at Michael and felt the most amazing feeling of all: the placenta started slipping slowly down my womb, and softly out between my legs. It felt divine, like God was licking me clean.
In that moment, all the pain was washed away, and I was suspended in pleasure. The birth was complete. After the Midwives inspected the afterbirth, I asked for privacy so my new family could have a sacred moment of communion before we cut the cord. Thus, after 21 hours of laboring on the coldest night of the year, Devin Echo McClure was born. Kamala Devi is the author of Don't Drink the Punch if you're interested in purchasing your copy go to: