Tuesday, September 2

Open Relationships on the Tyra Banks Show

Imagine a day time talk show had a gay or lesbian couple sitting on the 'hot seat' describing how they met, fell in love, decided to buy a house and have a baby together; and various members of the audience said:
1. "I think it's disgusting!"
2. "It undermines the sacred institution of marriage!"
3. "I don't care what you do in bed, but it's not right to bring a child into it."
This might be expected 30 years ago, or if it was recorded anonymously in middle America, but if it aired today on prime time TV, it would be considered old news, reflecting outdated morals.
AND YET--My husband and I were flown out to the Tyra Banks show in NYC this weekend to talk about our OPEN MARI GAGE in front of a live studio audience. My first open relationship from 12 years ago and my current girlfriend of 8 years were sitting beside us, holding our hands as we described how we own a house and have a baby--and the audience responded with the three verbatim judgments from above.
The point I'm trying to make is that I find myself among a handful of pioneers who are on the forefront of educating people about responsible non-monogamous options. The Gay and Lesbian movement has made leaps and bounds progress beyond the Polyamorous movement by proving to the public that it is not only an alternative lifestyle, but a viable sexual orientation. Similarly, It is my experience that every individual is not only oriented towards the same, opposite, or both sexes, their orientation is either single (monogamous) or Plural (polyamorous) and in some cases none (Celibate.) This orientation is subject to change at different stages in ones life. This is an important political point because bisexual people in multiple relationships (like me) are easily discriminated against because of their "lifestyle," but if our disposition is seen as an "orientation" we may be granted some of the same compassion, rights and privileges as the gay and lesbian community.
To simplify my argument, why should a bisexual woman like myself be legally forced to chose between her husband and her girlfriend? Personally, I don't care what the government has to say about marriage, as they have no business in matters of the heart, but I don't like being called disgusting and have my parental decisions be judged just because I love more than one person.
The Tyra Banks Show will be airing in Sept. If you'd like to be on our mailing list to get details, please write: Kamala@blisscoach.com and if you're interested in reading more about the polyamours option read chapter 11 in Kamala Devi and Baba Dez Nichol's new book: Sacred Sexual Healing. http://www.parnterplayshop.com/


Lurana O'Malley said...

I'm so sorry you had to hear those comments, don't let them mess with your bliss! What you can hope is that some members of the studio and TV audience might hear some of their private desires validated and start living more boldly, with your inspiration. So well done! Do keep us posted on when it airs, this I gotta see!

Kamala Devi said...

The new blog looks great, and I'm enjoyong your wealth of facebook posts. On the Tyra show, it sounds like they had you pretty controlled and made up the way they wanted to present you. It makes me wonder about the crowd. It makes for more exciting TV if the crowd seems agast and upset.

I absolutely love you guys for doing this. Tammy and I often wonder how we would present a girlfriend to our friends and family. Most of them would be happy for us, and some would be a little envious. Some would have a hard time grasping it though. You are definitely pioneering this for us. I love how you own your sexuality, and put it out there for everyone to see. It's truely inspiring for me.

Thank you

R said...

Good for you, brave one. And I agree that the comments from the audience probably just came from fear and ignorance. Can't wait to see you on the show!