Tuesday, November 17

Strangers are Praying to Save My Poly Soul!

I have not yet seen our Channel 2 News story by Christina McLarty (pictured on the right) but as usual, after we talk about Poly in the Media, the "hate mail" already started pouring in. I found the following letter particularly provokative. In honor of the freedom of speach and religion, I've decided to post it on my blog. PLEASE READ AND COMMENT (I feel so defiant, like Harvey Milk taping a picture of his own castration to his refridgerator.)

FYI: here is the news segment that ran http://www.cbs2.com/video/?id=119692@kcbs.dayport.com
I saw you on the news and I felt so sad for you, your husband and your child. You have built an entire life around sex addiction and fornication and you are confusing it with spirituality. Spirituality involves maturity, commitment and conviction. Doing whatever sex act you want, when you want, with whomever you want is called sex addiction. You can mask it with all the yoga talk you want, but the people you call your child's "aunties and uncles" are your sex buddies, also sex addicts like you.

Just because some other sex addicted psychologists praise and condone what you are doing doesn't validate your life or your life's work.

You have sex addicts in your home around your child, people you fornicate with regularly according to your news interview. How long do you think it will be until one of these people molests your child? How long until sex with all these other adults just isn't enough? How long until someone has sex with you for the very purpose of getting access to your child?

Spirituality is a relationship with God and a life of self discipline and morality. Self control and commitment are hallmarks of a mature, healthy person. It's fun to have sex with lots of people, but it's also fun to take a bunch of drugs or get drunk every night. It's fun to eat chocolate cupcakes with every meal or eat McDonald's fries all the time. It's fun to drive 150 miles an hour down the freeway without a seatbelt. It's fun to skip work and just go to the beach everyday. But it's NOT healthy to do those things.

You say your child has so much "love" but what kind of love? Is it healthy love? Is it appropriate love? Is it love that is going to keep your child safe, or is it false "love" that is going to have a pedophile in your midst?

Is it spiritual mentorship you are offering or pornography and sexcapades?

You revel in sin and your lifestyle is heartbreaking to the God who loves you so much. God chose you and your husband for each other to be commited to one another and raise your child in a healthy family.

Yes, as you said in your news interview, people do worry about your child. You are not living a life that is healthy for a child. You do not provide a safe environment if your sex buddies are given access to have any sort of relationship with your child.

You can make up a name like Polyamorous to try to give what you are doing mainstream appeal, but your life and your life's work will always be wrong in the eyes of God and in eyes of most of the world.
You say you don't judge people. Well I am not judging you as a person. I am judging your behavior. Your behavior is wrong and it's going to get a reaction from people if you broadcast it to the world.

Hopefully one day the spirit of Christ will speak to your heart and break you free from this bondage that you falsely think frees you. I pray that someday you experience the true freedom that a real, loving, lasting relationship with God can bring for you. I pray that you experience the true freedom of living life without sex addiction and all the dangers of STD's and unwanted confusing pregnancies that your lifestyle brings, or even worse the death of babies as you abort the ones you aren't sure who the father would be.

It saddens me that your work is being given the attention that it is getting and that you are dragging others into this terrible lifestyle. It is my hope and prayer that you see the error of it and stop dragging other people with you. But of course, somebody that lies to these people and tells them "Hey screw anybody you want to and become spiritually enlightened" is going to draw people in. Snake oil salesmen always get the crowds. You can't have something for nothing Kamala. There are always always always consequences to the choices we make. You need to grow up and become a mature adult. And your husband is not a man for allowing your family to become this travesty. No real man, no knight in shining armour, would ever do this to his family. You have been had my dear.
I pray and pray and pray for you to see the light.

This Letter was unsigned.


Hail and praise to the Goddess! Personally, I don't believe a real Jesus ever existed. He was created by Helenized Jews who wanted a "mystery school" like so many of the Greeks had. Then fools like her got it all wrong around 200 EV. and started using this new "religion" by stripping it of it's Mystical beautiy and turning it into a club to bash whatever Spiritual beliefs or practices they were scared or jealous of. They're still doing it today is seems. Thank goodness Tantra is a spiritual practice that has a powerful magic attached to it. --Martin B.

 November 17 at 12:42am
Wow, she's not judging you, only your behavior. Well, at least she's preying for you! Typo intentional.
I know it can be difficult to put yourself out there with positive intention and receive this kind of thing in return. I only hope it fuels your fire to stay true to your beliefs and show others that a life of love w/o judgment and fear is possible. She may dislike you (I really didn't think it was hate mail, per se) and spew pseudo religious values upon you, but one day she'll see the truth of your soul.

While I've never been poly, it's certainly clear what monogamous, typical, God-fear relationships have brought us, so kudos for trying something different.
PS Oprah once said that anti-Oprah mail shows you're getting more popular, and then added, and I paraphrase, "Who has time to read that crap?"
My hope is that you can either read it and send love, or just be so busy reading love mail that you have no time for this stuff.

Hello Sweet, Sexy, Smart Sister,
I thought it was in balance to send you some Love Mail. Bless you for all that you're doing to make a difference in the world. You're brave. I admire you so much.
Namaste, River

Dear Kamala,

I went through all of the video clips etc. I am truly amazed. I have been exactly practicing what you are speaking about on polyamorous relationships and can relate to you 1000% and have to really hand it to you for your courage. I am with you on this and polyamorous relationships are REAL. Everyone of the Shakti's in my many polyamorous relationships made my life full, sweet and complete as Shiva with freedom and love to fully blossom. More power to you, O'Shakti. Love you always.
Love & Oneness
Pat S.
I am impressed with your courage to stand for your truth. Others will stand in judgment because they allow their ego to speak for them.
Michele & Sean

It's amazing on your website to see all the shining, happy faces everywhere - it's obvious you all are doing something right! it reminds me of that saying "If this is wrong - I don't want to be right" - LOL -
Thank you for your pioneering spirit -Ivy

Dear Kamala,
I am on your email list, but have not contacted you before. I just wanted to say that they did not do you justice in this video. I think it is wonderful that you are spreading the word and being poly obviously works for you and Michael.
J. and I have been poly from the beginning of our relationship and we have no problems with it other than misconceptions from other people who do not understand it. Living in xxxxx is the worst place we could be as No One here at all understands or accepts it and we have been ostracized for it by many people here who know about it. I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate what you are doing and wish you much more success.
Arlene S.
Deep Gratitude for your commitment and courage. You are an inspiration to me.

I often wish I lived closer to partake in your offerings. thank-you,
Hi Kamala,

I thought the video clip came out very, very well. It seemed to me that the expressions of conscious lovingness were well-represented. The newscaster's reference to "swinging" at the end seemed quite clearly to be her personal bewilderment and obvious lack of understanding. I would deem this to be a huge success. Keep being the instrument you are!
Love and Blessings,
Lawrence B.

i'm SO impressed how media is covering polyamory these days, it's not smutty or sensationalist, but generally thoughtful and intelligent - way to go mainstream media! and way to go, YOU
with love, liyana
LiYana Silver, Relationship Expert
Please blog all the misspelled epithets from angry right-wingers!

Kevin S

Much respect for all the ways that you keep 'putting it out there'. Namaste,
Destin, Erotic Rockstar Productions
Bravo! You always represent so well. xo jen
YOU GO, GIRL! Many blissings,Chiwah
Martin B. Sounds like time to do a sexual ritual for their spiritual evolution. Let them know that there are people all over this country sending orgasms their way..

I say it's time for a sexmagical ritual to build a storehouse of courage and peace for you and your family and the beauty and love that radiates from your hearts.

Martha B. "It's going to get a reaction from people if you broadcast it to the world" On this point there is truth. Darling, remember... you are immune to the good or bad opinions of others.

Lisa M. While I did not see your talk about Poly in the Media, I read the article and I was deeply affected at the fear that this woman holds. It was interesting to see how her fear went on to create this huge story as to what you are doing and how you are putting your child at risk. In my opinon, all that she said was based on her fears and had nothing to... Read More do with you. I don't know you well, but what I do know is your warmth and love and sincerity can only come from being centered and grounded in yourself and your Spirituality. There are few people in this world that can demonstrate your courage and authenticty. Your radiate this with everything you say and do. That is more real than any judgement or criticism anyone can come up with. Stay true to yourself and the love you hold. That love is stronger than anything or anyone and it is truly a gift to all who come in contact with you. God bless you and this path that you are on!
Tanya BR There is NOTHING more terrifying than blind faith.
John M. Thank God I'm an Atheist! ;-)

Sarah Murray Novak- don't let people like this bigot upset you. She's an uninformed, ignorant person.

Keli LalitaWow...hopefully the spirit of Christ will speak to HER heart one day and tell her to stop throwing stones in his name.

Valera C. I love the way that she automatically assumes that her God is also your God. You know what they say about assuming!

Courtesan AD Isn't this how the Salem Witch trials got started? Drowning innocent lives in the name of 'God'... 'God' being a relative term used by the individuals wanting to manipulate others into some form of control.

Justin P.easy to throw rocks at the Rebel, take it as a badge of honor.
Kali D. No help needed dear one, as, believe it or not, this being is expressing her reality of love to you. Unfortunately, it goes hand in hand with her version of right and wrong. Her perception of God and moral value is just as valid as ours, as much as we wince and feel saddened by her lack of what we perceive as a closed mind and constricted heart. ... Read MoreHead up love, and find solace in the fact that your message got out to many variations of beings, sentient or otherwise, stirring up deep rooted passions. Whether they agree or not, the discussion is alive!


Tanya said...

Kamala, I Pray for that soul. I pray. For I have been that soul.
As devout and righteous as can be... but also disconnected and sad and unhappy. What righteous indignation could not resolve, I am learning to find myself by opening my heart.
There is so much light in the world. So much love. So much learning. So much richness, more than any golden idols or merchants tables can hold. I ask myself, what would Jesus do? He would turn over the tables of those who profit with spirit on their lips.
Therein lies the rub. Tantra is NOT financially unattainable for all. I'd be a tantrika if I could afford it. Elitism? Commercialism? Sex trade?
Be cautious the line you tread. Or the brimstone crowd will gather. There is NOTHING more terrifying than blind faith.

Alexa Da Silva said...

Isn't this how the Salem Witch trials got started? Drowning innocent lives in the name of 'God'... 'God' being a relative term used by the individuals wanting to manipulate others into some form of control so that they can spread their own misery and separation.
4 minutes ago · Delete

Maiyah said...

As one of my wise young friends said in the wake of the Virginia Tech shootings "The only response to unspeakable tragedy is unfathomable love."

When people spew abuse, it can be difficult to remember that it's their own unresolved pain that fuels their vitriol.

And on some level, they are mirrors of aspects of ourselves that are calling out to be healed with unconditional love.

So I hold that soul in the light for her desire to give you what she sincerely believes is divinely guided.

And I hold you in the light to comfort you in the aftermath of such violent language.

All blessings in all directions of space, time and being.


Hercules said...

Righteous yes and devout mmmmmm maybe. I am assuming (I do not like doing that but I guess I have to) that this person is of the Christan faith. I have always found it amazing from many of the Christan's I know that they talk about opening and excepting god into your heart which I would also take as being open hearted. If that is the case why can't people like this be open-minded as well.
It is easy for someone like this judge and say all the things that you are doing are wrong and everything I am doing is right. To this person, I say why don't you be open-minded and really understand why people do the things they do. There are many things out there I do not agree with but I try to understand them. So I challenge you to open your heart and more importantly open your mind. God in her/his wisdom gave you one to make decisions and choices for yourself.

Nathan said...

Wow. That's so helpful, thank you for sharing that. I have been struggling with a much less harsh version of the same types of issues, but I could never put words to them. Now that I see the words, they seem so misinformed.
You Kamala are not a sex addict. I know what a sex addict is. My father was one, and it destroyed my family, and every relationship he ever had. You don't have an addiction that pushes you to ever greater heights of depravity. You have multiple loving relationships.
You don't invite your child into your bedroom to observe your lovemaking, you don't offer him up to any in your circle to engage in such misconduct. As my wife considers whether a polyamorous lifestyle is for her, and I consider whether I can deal with it, I find more and more that this is no light undertaking. It takes a great deal of skill and maturity to pull it off.
The outside world sees it as a way to "get away with" engaging in sex with multiple partners. How ridiculous. Adultery, and Fornication have not been prosecuted as criminal acts for quite some time now. You don't have to be polyamorous to engage in sex with multiple partners. If you are polyamorous you have multiple relationships that may culminate in lovemaking, or they may not.
How does this come into play when your child is old enough to learn about the birds and the bees? I don't know. That's really your question to answer. But you will be coming from far more experience about what makes relationships work than any of the couples locked in unfulfilled relationships that end up cheating on each other anyway.
What about God? Hmmm. That's a tough one. I guess I could ask him myself and wait for an answer, but even then I would only get an answer that is appropriate for me. WE are a planet of diversity, and I cannot believe that the God who created us to be separate and distinct, expects us to conform.
I would like to believe there are monogamous couples out there who are very happy with their situation, and see no reason to change it. I wish them well. I hope they continue to serve as an example to the many monogamous couples who cannot seem to find happiness. I may even be a little bit jealous of them.
As for the rest of the monogamous world who are miserable and simply want everyone to be there with them... turn your sights on the ever growing divorce rate. Why vilify people who are able to find happiness, and share it when it is so patently obvious that "the norm" leads to heartbreak, domestic violence, and abuse. How far could pedophilia exist if every relationship had multiple conscientious partners? It's not too hard to hide things from one partner. It's twice as hard to hide it from two...and the aforementioned drug use would also be easier to detect, and discuss in a poly relationship. The thing that most folks object to about poly relationships is the sex..which is what they tend to think it is all about. As a dear monogamous friend of mine once told me, a relationship is about far more than 20 minutes in the bedroom. You want a real, functional example of how a poly lifestyle can work and be extremely beneficial. Play the Sims.

Julie Mackert said...

I do not believe it is fair to color this woman’s post as “hate mail.” Although I support and understand the Poly lifestyle, I also find that this woman’s concerns are both legitimate potential “cons” of the lifestyle and do not constitute personal/hate attacks. She is simply voicing her values and that she believes the Poly lifestyle is much more about finding a way to rationalize multiple sex partners than it is about spirituality. I think there is a lot of “spin” going on in Kamala’s response to both the interview and the woman who posted. It isn’t unusual to blank out faces because media outlets just don’t want to take a risk with liability. Additionally, the I don’t think the newscaster was trying to reduce Poly to swinging, but just trying to make an analogy to something that resonated with her, and would to her audience. I believe many thoughtful “swingers” probably are pretty close to the Poly lifestyle.

In general, I guess I don’t understand the purpose or need to go out in the media and preach the Poly gospel. I would say the same thing about religion: keep your personal beliefs primarily to yourself and let others find their own way toward spirituality. Using the media to obtain mostly free publicity or perhaps to justify one’s own beliefs is understandable, but I also believe it is fairly low consciousness.

As far as the child abuse argument goes, I have to agree with the poster that that would be a concern if I had children and were living a Poly lifestyle. It is not close-minded or irrational to connect the dots and arrive at a theory where one wondered if those who practice the Poly lifestyle might also be less inhibited and less conformal to society’s prohibitions regarding sexual relations between adults and minors. Again, I personally have trouble understanding why 18 years of age is a magic number. However, if I were living a Poly lifestyle with a 13 year old daughter, I think I might be slightly more vigilant regarding those who surrounded me and were practicing the same value system and morality.

I support Bliss University, but really struggle to work up even mild outrage at this woman’s arguments against, and even condemnation of, the Poly lifestyle.

Finally, let’s be adult and accept that we are fortunate enough to live in society where expression is relatively unfettered. Many other posts subsequent to this woman’s post are not very kind to those who practice monogamy and almost intimate that it isn’t possible to find happiness in a monogamous relationship. On the contrary, I think that very, very few people have the emotional and psychological tools to be happy in a Poly lifestyle. Most people would have a much better chance at happiness in a monogamous construct.

Brian said...

Christina McLarty is *Horrifying*

Shawn Roop with TantraQuest in San Diego said...

I feel Jesus and his Father are large enough to accept the so called "sins" exploring love that feel true. You shared Poly is not for everyone, and nor are certain religions. It only augment the "fan" offers is on the foundation of the Christian faith and the values offered there.

Kamala Devi said...

I Love all your supportive words! I really needed them today. I've moved through great compassion and am grateful to live in such a diverse and abundant world where we can have such differing world views! xoxo KD

Kamala Devi said...

Julie Mackert and I often share the same computers. I tried to add to the thread regarding Kamala's comments on the CBS intereview and the "hate mailer." So, please substitute Michael Dobbs for Julie Mackert for authorship. I truly admire and support what Kamala and Michael are doing and truly want to learn more about the philosophy behind the poly lifestyle. However, I also have to be true to myself and speak my heart. Warmest regards, Michael Dobbs

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About ten years ago my wife and I visited a clothing optional/lifestyle resort for a week in Costa Rica. It was a very constructive experience being the only American couple. However, most of the couples were childless and when we mentioned about having children, the unanimous answer was don't have children because you will not be able to enjoy an open sexual lifestyle. We now have three small children under 3 y/o and have been monogamous since the first pregnancy and about 18 months before. We haven't explored the poly lifestyle but the idea of having multiple adults around our 3 children - who end up in bed with us most nights - is unthinkable at this point in time. However, in a childless scenario, it appeals to us at multiple levels. We'll wait a few years and see......

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