Tuesday, November 17

On Doing Poly Press

Before I even saw the CBS News story by Christina McLarty, my inbox was hit by religious strangers sending me righteous and angry letters. Since this is not my first time talking about my open marriage on the news, I knew what to expect.

Fortunately, the story didn't slander us in any unfavorable way (unlike Inside Edition,) but the editor seemed to cut out any reference to "deep long term loving relationships." They also chose to blur out the beautiful smiling faces of all our friends and lovers, giving the impression that poly is something hidden and shameful. (Even though I sought out permission from all parties involved, and sent in a release form for them to use our likeness.) The final blow was when the news anchors shrugged and simply called us "swingers." But all things considered, I'm glad I did it. and I'll likely do it again. Why? You might wonder...

Is it because you want to convert people to your lifestyle? Or because you are releasing a new DVD and they offered free press? Are you trying to prove something to the religious right? Do you really think your story can make a difference?

Who knows? I have no idea what difference it will make in the long run. What I know is that I love my life. My Husband, my son and most of my lovers are truly happy.

In the last 10 years I've worked with thousands of people who are NOT happy. Most people struggle in relationship, whether they are married, single, divorced, or even poly. People need healthy role models, support, and help with their communication boundaries, agreements. And that's what I'm here for.
Taking a stand for what one believes in is not always easy. (I posted examples of my hate mail on my blog.) People can say what they want about me and my lifestyle. The more connected I am to my truth, the less I care about what others think.

Ultimately, I feel honored to be gifted with so many beautiful relationship tools and teachings. This is what fuels me to continue to do my work. Thus, I pray:

"Great Spirit, you know my desire is to be a voice for freedom and love in the world. I'm no longer attached to what that looks like, I ask that you use me as your instrument. I'm willing to be mis-understood, misquoted or mis-represented, whatever it takes. As long as you use me on your behalf, I'm willing to show up and be seen."

Kamala Devi


Hi Kamala Devi,

I'm a practitioner on Maui. I really really think that you should be on Dr. Phil to help him with the Infidelity shows.... Lately, Dr. Phil is way over his head on this issue of infidelity.  You are so needed on his show. Please be sure he gets a full press release as to what you are about. Perhaps you can go to his website and still watch those last two shows he just did on this issue. They were very lively and YOU are the missing factor.
I thought your other tv appearance went well. Dr. Phil is next ?? People are really in need of your wisdom on relationships.
Good luck.
DEVA --Lotuslamp Healing Arts
Excellent, Kamala
I just read this email message, yet today when I was in pacfic beach I heard you saying almost everything that you wrote in your messag from the heart through telepathy, or some other spiritual communication that I do not have a nam for! Your truth is being heard near and far!

After "hearing" you, I was going to send you an email to tell you thank you for following your truth and being couragious! So, that is what I want to communicate to you. THANK YOU for taking a stand in what fels good and right for you! Love and blessings

Dearest Kamala Devi,
I truly think you and Michael have an amazing life together. I've always admired your relationship, your grace, your knowledge and understanding. You are beyond courageous to expose your wonderful life to the world. Of all the couples I know, you and Michael have one of the healthiest relationships I've ever encountered. I used to think monogamy was how we are supposed to live our lives. But after years of serial monogamist relationships, even the "perfect" relationships, I've come to the realization that we as humans weren't meant to be monogamous, or meant to love only one mate in life. I wasn't able to put a name on it until I started attending tantric events. I have a wonderful husband, who is the father of my children. He and I also have a wonderful lovers, who have enriched the lives of our children. Our children have gained another mom and dad. My children love both us and them. We are kind and loving towards each other. My husband is still my best friend and confidant. Our promise to each other as husband and wife has shifted to include other loving relationships. Kamala, I think you are offering some great teaching and contributions to our society. I don't know how anyone could argue about enriching one's life with more love. We can all benefit from your wisdom. Namaste
PS I love your letter below about the whole situation, especially your prayer to Great Spirit, Aho!


Best thing about the CBS clip is all the love emanating from the family shots... it's so clear that you and Michael love each other and that Devin is a happy, exuberant, well-loved child! The commentators might have done a truly lame job afterwards, but that cannot cancel out the clear image of all that love.


Norman said...

(They didn't blur us out. But we were only on for a half a second.)I find it difficult to believe than an anthropomorphic god made sex enjoyable so that we would be tempted by it and god could then punish us by sending us to hell. I find it easy to believe that the more people condemn others for a lifestyle, the more likely it is that they are either secretly living that lifestyle themselves or wish they could be living it. I pray for those who suffer from intellectual incoherence. May they find clarity.

Kamala Devi said...

Bodhi You were awesome! Thanks for showing up! (They didn't blur you because you were on the DVD not just a still photo.)

Jade said...

Interesting that the post was, of course, submitted anonymously because the entire tirade contradicts the true meaning of Christ's teachings, and at some deep place in this woman's heart, she knows that. One of my dear mentors, Leo Buscaglia, once said to me, "Dear, if you aren't disturbing people you are not being your true, authentic self." Everyone is going to be offended by something and the important thing to do in these times is to find our authentic voice and speak out. You and I know the blessings and privilege of tantric loving. Some people will understand and some won't but it's 'way past time for us to share with those who CAN get it and ignore those that are stuck in the old paradigms. Bless her restricted and narrow little heart and rock on! I honor your courage and dedication, sweet sister. Much love to you and those fortunate enough to be in your sphere of brilliant light and intense bravery. You are a guiding light for me. Much Big Love, Jade Beaty

Alan said...

Congratulations, Kamela, on doing a genuinely fine thing. Never mind if the TV station's treatment was not all that you'd want. Your message and spirit came through loud and clear and surely connected with countless people who will not soon forget it.


Alan M.
Polyamory in the News:

P.S. Could you let me know of any further media appearances, so I can post them? Thanks!

alan7388 (AT) gmail. com