Monday, June 8

Bad Pick Up Lines

I was sitting at the local coffee shoppe mindlessly flipping through the pages of one of the free monthly magazine when a well intended atheltic-type guy makes his way over to my booth and says: "I heard that the most beautiful woman in the room is usually the lonliest because everyone's too intimidated to approach her. Is that true?"

Flattered, I smiled, and then I felt sort of embarrassed...for him. I thanked him but assured him that I was not lonely. In fact, I'm married and it's an open marriage so I we have several other lovers, but I am not looking for more. Then I wished him Good Luck.

On my way home, I got to to thinking about whether pick up lines ever really work. So I had some fun on the web and decided to post some old classics as well as creative new ones that make my stomach churn. Hope you had as much fun with these as I did:

What's your sign? (response: Stop!)
Your place or mine?
Read any good books lately?
Seen any good movies lately?
Nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?
That dress would look great - on my bedroom floor.
I am a magical being, take off your bra.
Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
I feel like Richard Gere because I'm standing next to the Pretty Woman.
Let's play gynecologist.
Let's go to my place and do the things! I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
I'm here. What are your other two wishes?
Hi, do you want to have my children? If not, can we just practice?
I'm an American Express Lover! Don't go home without me!
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
You with all those curves and me with no brakes!
Did the sun just come out or did you smile at me?
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
How do you like your eggs in the morning?
What is a beautiful girl like you doing in a place like this?
Sex is a killer... want to die happy?
Of all the bars in the world I could have walked into, here you are...
I seem to have lost my telephone number, may I borrow yours?
Here's a quarter. Call your mum and tell her you won't be home tonight.
Does God know you've escaped from heaven?
Can I see your tan lines?
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl in This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
Wanna get lucky?
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated?
Help the homeless. Take me home with you!
You know what'd look good on you? Me.
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
Bond. James Bond.
If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
Smile if you want to sleep with me.
Can I get your name? (response: Why don't you have one?)
Smile if you want to sleep with me
If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
May I have the pleasure of dancing with you?
Didn't I see you on the cover of Glamour magazine?
Aren't you a famous model?
If I could arrange the alphabet I would put U and I together.
There's something wrong with my eyes - I can't take them off you.
I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
Do you sleep on your stomach or can I?
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
Is your father a theif? It seems he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
"If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world."

Personally, I prefer the more conversational approach:

What's your name?
So what do you do?
Are you married?
Do you come here often?

Let me know about your approach? I'm curious to hear if any of these actually work!

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