Wednesday, January 27
Relationship review on Amazon: Learn our 10 top BLACKBELT lessons here
But wait, this isn't just your regular feel-good collection of mumbo-jumbo marriage therapy diced and sliced into bites of information. Rather, this DVD explores real-world issues in a way you've probably never considered. Or if you have, you might have felt bad about it or thought you were alone. While Earning Your Black Belt in Relationships focuses mainly on how to make polyamorous--or "open"--relationships work, the ideas presented are excellent tools for any relationship. Even single people can take the ideas and apply them to their lives. The best viewer for this DVD isn't someone who's solely interested or labeled as polyamorous, but rather someone who is tired of making the same mistakes and wants to delve into different ways of thinking and being that actually work.
Sex and relationship coaches Kamala Devi and Reid Mihalko share tools and tricks to successfully sustaining multiple open relationships. That's right, more than one. And guess what? If you can't get one right, it's not likely you'll be able to get more than one right. So start small and blossom as your communication and awareness skills grow.
There are 10 chapters in this DVD, and the "lessons" spell out BLACKBELTS, which also echoes a fun ninja theme (it's subtle, but clever). Mihalko and Devi explore the lessons in detail after you watch intriguing, real-life footage about the topic from people who live it. And no, not everyone is labeled as strictly polyamorous. One person is single and "poly-curious." Another is monogamous but open-minded. Each topic ends with an exercise or "mission" to help anchor the ideas presented. Here's a peek into the chapters:
1. Be Real: learn to be transparent - This chapter stresses how important it is to know who you are and what you really need. This is easier said than done, as many people live in a fog much of their lives. So before you do anything, get in touch with your authentic self.
2. Labels and Lovestyles: define your own terms - Figure out what works for you in relationship. Be specific and know that there are many different "fits" or "configurations." You may even choose to not label yourself, but know that you still need to be able to communicate your needs, and words might be necessary.
3. Agreements and Boundaries: authentic negotiations - This chapter explores the importance of setting clear agreements and boundaries. Communication and transparency are the keywords here. When you know what works for you and you ask for what you need to feel safe, you create more freedom. These can evolve over time. The "mission" here is to determine what your bottom line is.
4. Clear Communication: express yourself fully - Without clear communication, you are not going to make it. If you like to withhold information or if you are unable to listen to and hear your partner, you have work to do. Develop your ability to speak your truth and hear your partner. Say what's not being said.
5. Know your needs: and how to get them met - This chapter talks about "needs work," which is pretty deep emotional work. You are in charge of your own needs. Be aware of what your needs are and meet them in a healthy way--needs aren't bad. Use the communication skills you learned in previous chapters.
6. Break-ups and Transitions: let go with grace - Change is inevitable and break-ups aren't necessarily bad. Longevity is a "horrible metric with which to measure the quality of a relationship." Relationships are organic and seasonal. Be realistic about what's healthy.
7. Emotions are Welcome: honor your feelings - Believe it or not, it is all right to feel whatever it is you are feeling. Be willing to express yourself and be willing to hold space for your partnerships. Emotions are meant to be felt. You can raise your emotional intelligence and apply it to your relationships.
8. Learning Curve: give yourself room to grow - This chapter normalizes the time it takes to get things "right." Be gentle with yourself and see relationships as growth opportunities. Don't try to be perfect. Expect breakdowns and work with them. Welcome the learning curve, learn and apply the lessons.
9. Takes a Tribe: creating alternative community - Surround yourself with support, community or tribe. Don't isolate yourself. This can be online, a potluck, church, whatever works for you.
10. Sex and Spirituality: honoring your lovers and self - Approach your relationships with a sacredness and respect, regardless of whether or not it's "mystical." Elevate it to a higher co-creation. Be free from guilt, shame and fear.
Devi and Mihalko are real and engaging, and their down-to-earth rapport is charming. While the camera work is a little shaky at times, the content is so strong and the advice so compelling, it's easy to forgive. Get ready to open your mind and your heart with this entertaining, educational and endearing DVD.
This Review is written by Joyful Body Mind and Spirit on Amazon. She is a San Diego Based writer, healer and performance artist. Her review can be found: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002Y272GM/ref=cm_pdp_rev_itm_img_1
Join world renowned sex educators and relationship "black belts" Kamala Devi and Reid Mihalko as they celebrate the launch of their newest and most powerful educational DVD THIS SATURDAY IN SD! Mingle and connect with a bevy of like-minded, amazing and exciting people!Your very own copy of the DVD to take home with you is included in the launch party's $19.95 admission! To reserve your space write firstname.lastname@example.org
www.BlissCoach.com Kamala Devi