Kamala Devi's New Year Reflections

     I'll remember 2010 as the year Lady Kundalini awoke in my sacral chakra. Last January, I returned from the Australian Conference for Sacred Sexual Educators in a desperate healing crisis, with painful thumbs and a sprained sacrum. After seeking numerous healers, the discomfort dissolved into a sublime sexual force in my lower chakras. Unlike other mystical but fleeting experiences I've had in my heart and crown, this arousal seems unshakable. I attribute my constant orgasmic energy to falling in love, doing my dharma, directing Tantra Theater, and developing new depths of connection with my tantric family. Looking back, it has been a wildly creative year!

     On the home front, Michael has successfully established a financially abundant energy conservation company. Devin enrolled in a French immersion pre-school and got his own room. We dramatically re-arranged the Emerald Temple for better Feng Shui. Michael has set up a low-maintenance grey water system for our organic garden, and is having fun creating a thermo-heating spa using compost. He recently modified our loan to reduce mortgage payments and has started building out the garage to make a studio office suite.

     By taking Tantra Theater beyond our back yard, I've started my lifelong dream of running a professional theater company. We scrambled to put on monthly shows at a hip downtown zen center. We also performed in New York, Sedona, Los Angles, SD Earth Day and Burning Man. (We even performed naked at Tantra-Palooza). Michael astounded everyone with the prolific writing of new material for Eco Elf, the green comic and the magical creation of Swami G-Spot. While at the Sacred Sex Round Up we inspired and inaugurated a local chapter of Tantra Theater in New York City.

     Another engaging and ego-confronting project has been co-creating a Hollywood pitch for a show on Polyamory. I'm grateful to all who trusted me enough to work with this independent producer, and for your prayers towards a positive media portrayal of open relationships. Special thanks go to Reid Mihalko the co-author of my Relationship BLACKBELT DVD, who hosted me in San Francisco for a weekend of events starting with the Iron Slut competition and ending with a sacred sex party.

     I took a quantum life changing leap at Tantra Palooza with 64 participants and 10 magical tantra teachers: Francoise Ginsberg, Jaiya Ma, Robert Silber, Ariel White, Mare Simone, Kirin Khalsa, Damien Rose, Reid Mihalko, and Shawn Roop. I 'm also grateful to have collaborated on Tantra Talks and Poly Potlucks with: Dossie Easton, TJ Bartel, Deborah Taj Anapol, and Kelley Bryson.

     I spent Thanksgiving week with my beloved girlfriend doing work study with Tracy Elise at the Phoenix Goddess Temple and am burning with inspiration for my one-woman show: The Sacred Slut Series (Which I intend to perform in March). Another big creative celebration happened at the San Diego premier of the controversial new documentary about Baba Dez entitled, “Sex Magic." Watching my naked body projected on a 40 foot screen in front of over 100 friends was both vulnerable and validating.

     When it comes to visioning the possibilities for 2011, I am still in the soup and feel a great call to surrender. I'm unsure what Spirit will have me do next, but I'm clear it will start with prayer, making love, improvisation and more surrender. The only events we have planned are a weekend with Charles Muir, writing my one-woman show, and Tantra Palooza 11-11-11. Hope to play with you there.

Love,

Kamala Devi
http://www.blisscoach.com/
http://www.tantratheater.tv/
http://uninhibitedbliss.blogspot.com/

How do we celebrate a Tantric Christmas?

     Christmas time can be confusing for non-Christians.  (It can even be confusing for Christians who are non-consumers.) As a tantric priestess and mama of a 4 year old, I've been exploring the meaning and rituals I want to embrace and practice with my son and poly family.

     Tantra yoga is not a religion, rather it is a spiritual path that can enhance life while coexisting with other beliefs and practices. Tantra is a vast umbrella that covers multiple lineages, so it doesn't have any one official holiday. (Although, I personally never pass up an opportunity to worship the lingam on Maha Shivaratri, which occurs on the lunar calendar around Valentines day.)
     Valentines day is probably the busiest time of the year for me and most tantra teachers, because Tantra is often seen as the path of relationship. Conversely, Solstice happens to be the slowest time because seekers get busy with their families, and as the nights get longer most Tantrics go inward to meditate and vision.
     It's humorous to notice that America's sex-obsessed consumer society is quick to sell x-mas themed adult toys and market them as tantric:

• Sexy Santa Lingerie
• Christmas Spiced Massage Oil
• Candy Cane flavored condoms
• Tantric Xmas Gift Certificates for sensual massage
• Topless Kama Sutra photos with Santa hats
• And The list goes on. (I admit I'm envious of a the hand-painted Christmas-Tree ornaments with yantras of each of the seven chakras.)

    This short inventory brings up the questions of spiritual materialism and consumerism. Unlike many spiritual paths which teach us to renounce our material possessions, Tantra invites us to embrace that the goddess also exists in the world of form.  Materialism is not inherently wrong, unless we seek the form to the exclusion of truth. 
     One of the most widespread spiritual teachings of the season, is that of giving and receiving. This is also a core teaching within tantric philosophy. In a basic practice of taking turns during erotic massage, tantric seekers often melt into the non-dual experience of receiving from service. And they can have a direct experience of only being able to love to the degree that they let themselves be loved.  Needless to say, receiving and giving sensual massage has always been be one of my favorite holiday gifts!
     One fundamental tantric practice is to expand into the spontaneous divine impulse within our self and others. As such, it's paramount that we stay connected to the true holiday spirit, instead of mindlessly following annual traditions.  Don't buy gifts unless your moved to. Dressing up is optional. Sing Christmas carols from the depths of your soul, or not at all. Choosing between vegetarianism or eating meat is a devotional act as opposed to a dogmatic one. And perhaps the greatest challenge: don't buy into any obligation out of family guilt. From this place of freedom, acts of kindness are pure, not diluted by expectation of reward or punishment.
     When I got pregnant and the doctor declared Christmas was my official due date, the holidays took on a whole new flavor. "Christmas is for the kids," I was reminded by everyone. Since there is no Tantric church of fellowship telling me how to raise my son, I am gifted/burdened with the opportunity to find my own way. I looked around and frankly, saw that we can either lie and spoil our children; or love and teach them. Though it's hard to avoid Disney portrayal of an American Christmas, we've been known to take Devin out of the country for the holidays to broaden his global perspective. But on the years when we stay home, like this one we've decided to be inclusive and eclectic in our practices. We light candles on Hanukkah, celebrate solstice with our goddess worshipping sisters, go skiing, exchange gifts without obligation, and always, always kiss under the miseltoe.
Love,
Kamala Devi
http://www.blisscoach.com/
P.S. Kissing Under the Mistletoe -- From Wikipedia
     Many cultures consider mistletoe a mystical healing plant that is associated to fertility because it stays green and alive through winter, while its host will not. Ironically it is a poisonous partial parasite who's . kissing customs sources from Norse goddess mythology.
     "Baldur's mother, Frigga, Goddess of beauty and love, went to all plants and animals asking them to protect her son and cause him no harm, since he was the God of the summer sun. She overlooked one, mistletoe. Loki, God of evil, found this out and got another to kill Baldur with a spear laced with mistletoe. Baldur was eventually brought back to life. Frigga cried tears of little white berries, like the ones found on mistletoe. Out of admiration, Frigga vowed to kiss anyone who walked under the mistletoe, so beginning the kissing under the mistletoe myth. What a wonderful way for the story to end, love overcoming death."

Family Photo Time brings up Poly Questions

The Holidays are here and Devin is almost 4 now. We don't usually take photos of Devin with just 'Mom and Dad' because we don't think of ourselves as a nuclear family.  But a media producer asked us for current photos of Devin and Goddess Julie Kondor was able to catch these precious moments on the day of a big interview for a media project on Polyamory.  While in Los Angeles the producers asked a battery of personal questions:

• What was your path to polyamory?
• How many other lovers do you have and how often do you sleep with them? 
• Do you think polyamory is nature or nurture?
• How do you plan to tell Devin when he's old enough to understand?  

The last question is my favorite. People often assume that someday I'll have to explain what polyamory is to my curious son. I think he knows exactly what it is, because he lives it. We may not co-habitate with any other lovers (yet) but we have no secrets in this house and he sees a healthy dose of afection between us and his "aunties" and "uncles." At some point he will see that the rest of the world is not like us, and I may need to explain Monogamy to him, but he is a bright sensitive boy so I trust he'll adjust easily to a mono-dominant society. My dream is that there will be movies, TV programs and/or cartoons that represent a healthy poly family, so that poly children around the world will see that they are not alone.
Our interview concluded with the producer saying; "perhaps soon you'll be that role model."
I certainly hope so. And I and appreciate your prayers and positive intentions towards conscious poly media. Enjoy these photos

Thanks for your support!
P.S. Julie Kondor is offering a $50 discount on a photo shoot to members of the tantra community before the holidays, check out www.kondorimaging.com.
 

Kamala Devi is making love to life.

This is me:
On sex...
On love...
On art...
On Spirit ...
and Motherhood.
Facebook is like a great oracle that simultaneously inspires the profound and the inane. I recently had fun culling through my past status updates to pick out a few choice pieces of poetry from 2010:

ON SEX...

• I reject the idea that it's just sex...as if there were a more revealing, dynamic, multi-dimensional form of communication. Sharing sexuality is like spontaneously downloading an elaborate new language that is completely unique to those involved...that's all.
• At times I feel you so deeply inside me that making love would be redundant. Other times I think you a fool-- who doesn't know what you're missing. ;o) 
• "If your crown is open, and your heart is open, then naturally your legs will open!"--Maha Laxmi
• There are some things that just can't be touched by talk therapy!
• Does Size matter? According to the Kama Sutra; there's the Hare, Bull and Horse for men and the Deer, Mare and Elephant for women... (Which feels very limiting) What kind of party animal are you?
• Poly People are so busy advocating "It's not about sex" that they often minimize the potential pleasure of playing with multiple partners!
• Other than judgment and hate mail, I have not suffered for my sexual freedoms. I'm grateful to stand on the shoulders of those who've been denounced, displaced, divorced, or worse. I'm honored to serve alongside you love pioneers.
• My love, intimacy and sensuality are too immense to be held by any single relationship. Containing my lusty devotion could occupy a small army -- and that is on a good day.
• There are certain taboos when broken and witnessed, bring wholeness to the observer. For me, group sex is one such taboo.
• My mind is melted away by absolute awe or lusty heat, I'm sure there are other ways too, but I can't think of any.
• My life's work is to prevent the Devil from maintaining a monopoly on Sex.

ON LOVE...

• I woke up wanting to anoint your feet with essential oils and dry them with my hair. I long to play Mary Magdalene to your Christ Consciousness...
• I savor the feeling of crushing on you...at times it feels I'm going insane, but sanity never suited me anyway.
• This love has me inside out, upside down, spiraling like a coin between heads and tails. The deeper I fall, the higher I feel. And everywhere I go, you are there to meet me.
• God may feel too immense and ubiquitous to grasp, but by holding you, as my bindi, I melt into the infinite.
• I miss you. More accurately, I miss the idea of you. But at least I've got a lively dialogue going with a more available version of you, in my mind.
• In gazing at your glory, I die to the unreal.
• I step down from my pedestal, letting you undress every last layer of projection, attachment and expectation, to behold the naked glory of my true nature.
• A woman who has every earthly pleasure imaginable, still needs a fantasy to keep her from feeling complete. Beloved, you are my favorite escape.
• You ask: Why am I so blessed? Because the Goddess has decided to LOVE you-- who are we to question her.
• This love does not hurt. Love itself can not cause harm. It's all the fucking barb-wire we hang around the heart--to prevent loss-- that hurts.
• If I could show you that this love can not be lost... would you let me in?
• Now that I'm established in loving you, Beloved, I'm embarking on the unreasonable quest to know you.
• In my sincere quest to understand the human heart, I stumbled upon you--and realized-- I know nothing.
• There's a thin line between romantic devotion and manic obsession. I don't know which side I'm on.
• The yoga of love stretches me beyond my comfort. I'm glad that you showed up to adjust my asana.
• Why, with countless lovers that shower me with adoration, validation, and devotion, do I still swoon when I hear my beloved say those three silly words?

ON SPIRIT...

• This lucid dream is always unfolding, even when I'm awake, even when I'm unaware. 
• To minimize suffering our culture tells us to increase our having, Buddhism teaches us to decrease our wanting. My new practice is to increase the satisfaction I feel when wanting.
• It's not enough to just know God, you have to make love to her, too!
• I'm attached to my attachments. They give me something to strap myself to, they reassure me that I'm real. What are you attached to?
• The closer I get to God, the more I enjoy sharing myself with others.
• I gave myself to this fire. I warmed my bare skin by the flames, and burned inside with your prayers. With smoke and dust in my lungs, I release these word to the universe, knowing it is already done. And so it is.
• I am the answer to those prayers, the ones you hold so deep in your heart, that you even forgot you made.
• I got more hate mail today.  I had to laugh. The religious zealot writes..."and when you die, I hope that God Almighty has his way with you..." And I'm thinking, me too.
• Reality is relative. I'm grateful for a glimpse of yours, but when it begins to melt my version, I feel disoriented. Next time, can we meet on a more neutral ground, somewhere unconditional, like perhaps, in love?
• The Beloved is even willing to show up as a hungry, lost and lonely seeker so that I can have the satisfaction of filling him with my devotion.
• I bow to Krishna the embodiment of love who's name can be traced back to Krsh which means "to draw near" and "Na" which means to renounce. I embrace the beloved's irresistable power of attraction and simultaneously let it all go.
• Every love is a mirror and as I surround myself with deep intimate reflections, my once glaring blindspot is melting away.

ON ART...

• Tantra Theater is doing seriously devious shit in the name of art!
• Every performance artist trips at some point and accidentally spills drama off the stage and into their own life. (Fortunately for me it happened after dress rehearsal, so I should be good for tonight's show.)
• A true muse doesn't just leave the pregnant artist with inspiration, but breathes heavy through delivery and fortifies them with the gumption to raise the damn thing.
• Your words are water. Not to quench the thirst of a poor woman, but to make morning tea, to feed the organic garden, to fill a bath and soak away the illusions of the mind. Thank you for showering me each day with the fountain of your soul.
• There is Symbolism in everything: this tea, this pillow, this kiss on your mouth. It is what it is, yet it is more than it seems.
• I awoke on the breath of an idea so bright it changed my vision. I marvel at how much shakti surrounds each new concept, like a seed embedded in edible flesh. Now to find co-creaters to share the sweetness and parent the project. 
• Woman thou art profane, prostitute, concubine, courtesan, whore, harlot, slut, tramp, Jezebel, fallen, floozy, hooker, hussy, lady of the evening, nymphomaniac, streetwalker, strumpet, tramp, strumpet, trollop, wench.
• Woman thou art sacred, goddess, hallowed, priestess, prophetess, muse, angel, emissary, cherished, consecrated, divine, pious, pure, spiritual, revered, saintly, minister, sanctified, venerable, divine, creator woman.

ON SELF EXPRESSION...

• Though Radical transparency may be my practice, certain weekend experiences are too explicit to post as my facebook status. Where do you draw the line on how much to tell? 
• At Black Rock City, burners often empower their themselves with a "playa name," this year I'll be found flitting about in nothing but a man's tie and answering to the name "Moksha." What's your alter ego called?
• It's national coming out day! I believe truth and transparency are necessary for sexual liberation. And so it follows: if it's in my heart, it's on my lips.
• I'm intending for perpetual EXPANSION. I get that the birthing process may naturally involve contraction, but so does ORGASM!
• I contemplated all the ways in which I minimize my experiences so as not to make others jealous. Have you ever played this game?
• In striving to be fully alive, I touched a place deep in my womb where I'm already dead.
• It feels weird having all these clothes on.

ON MOTHERHOOD...

• During our bedtime ritual, I told Devin (3) that we are all God, we just forget sometimes and he asked "why?" I said I don't know. Then he thought about it and said, "I'm not a god because I don't have wings."
• Riding home from the beach my son Devin (3) kept turning back and looking at the sky..."Mom, Why's the moon chasing my tricycle?"
• I tell myself, it's not that I hate being a monther, I'm simply overwhelmed with responsibility.
• I spent the day with my son hanging out at a nursery, playing with tractors and eating ice cream. I cried from joy when Devin (3) said, "I miss my dad. But you can pretend to be him. I can call you papa Kamala."
• I'm home, but since everything changes so fast in the world of a 3 year old, I'm perpetually in a whole new place.
• Devin poked and prodded a gooey earthworm this morning. Having a son forces me into the tantric practice of experiencing everything as if it were the first time.
• I took Devin (3)to the polling booth and he says: "Mamma, I'll sit here on these chairs and eat raisens while you save the sky from falling."

Happy Holidays,
Kamala Devi
Dec. 2010

Safer Sex standards & Testing in San Diego

     The Safer Sex conversation is often overlooked in the San Diego tantric community and/or dismissed as too personal to discuss in public. At the beginning of sacred sex parties, I often encourage an introductory conversation by asking participants to at least state when they were tested last, and what their results were.  These conversations are very vulnerable and can cause a hot debate amongst members and teachers.
     I agree that safer sex standards are personal, but that doesn't mean they must be private. It is up to every individual to set and uphold their own unique standards.  However, I hope my friends and lovers come to their standards based on the newest information about safer sex, which is constantly being updated as health research and testing technology advance. That is why I feel this should be an ongoing open conversation in the community.

Following are some of my own safer standards to help you evaluate your own general practices:

• I talk about sexual histories with my partners before sexual contact. (I ask my partners how sexually active they are, who they are fluid bonded with, if they have any STI's or what recent exposure they may have had.)  
• I visually examine my own and partners yoni and lingam before engaging in sex.
• I use condoms for penetrative sex. (I merge with the barrier, seeing it as a blessing and don't let anyone give me grief about it.)
• I use gloves and dental dams for non regular partners such as clients or participants at play parties. (Gloves and dams can be sexy!)
• I use organic lube with all latex barriers. (Condoms tend to dry the yoni and sex without lube can leave micro tears in soft tissue.)
• If unsafe sex, or an outbreak occurs I communicate clearly and fully with all my partners and ask that they do the same. (This is often also a deep personal growth opportunity, why did this show up? and what can we do differently next time?
• If I am fluid bonded with a partner, we agree to follow the same safe sex practices with other partners.  
• I intend to get tested every six months, and a pap smear approx every couple years.
• I ask all partners with whom I have an ongoing sexual relationship to get tested every six months as well.
• I practice compassion, forgiveness and sensitivity when discussing safer sex. I am not perfect at this topic, and this can be very ego-confronting conversation.

Following is a list of resources for getting tested inexpensively in San Diego:

For all STD's other than HIV I use.......San Diego County Health & Human Services Agency....Office of Public Health at 3851 Rosecrans St. S.D. 92110 (near Old Town) Only $15 cash or check only , STD clinic 619-692-8550 or HIV only: phone:619-296-2120  M,T,W,TH 7:30am to 4pm (they often close before 4pm) To test for syph gon, herpes, hiv chlamidia. takes about ten days, must come back in person for results.

** (they do HIV/Aids testing here also however it is the "common/older" form of testing that tests for HIV "antibodies" which can take 3-6 months to build up in your system....so that still leaves you with a 3-6 month "window".....meaning that any exposure that you might have had to HIV/Aids in the 3-6 months prior to the test will not show up on the test results. Therefore it only tells you what your status "was" 3-6 months ago. So if you've had no ("0") sexual partners in the last 3-6 months you're O.K......otherwise you really don't know.

2) For HIV/Aids......the UCSD Medical Center (Anti Viral Research Center) "Early Test" clinic in Hillcrest (just 5 min. from the County clinic) 220 Dickinson San Diego, Ca. 92103. website https://theearlytest.ucsd.edu/ This clinic is by appointment only. call for info and appointments 619-543-8080
This test is "free" and looks for the actual "Virus" in your body and therefore has a window of "only 7 days." (Yet it takes 2 weeks to get your results back)......a far more secure option! I highly recommend it. This type of test is also offered on a "Walk-In" basis at the San Diego Gay & Lesbian Center at 3909 Centre St. San Diego, Ca. 92103. Phone 619-692-2077. See below.

3)There is also AVRC (UCSD Antiviral Research Center) 220 Dickinson Street, Suite A San Diego, CA
NEW: Advance appointments available for morning by calling 619-543-8080

4) The Family Health Centers of San Diego’s Gay Men’s Health Clinic
3544 30th St San Diego, CA 92104 MAP

I look forward to hearing about your safer sex standards and/or any information that could further this conversation.  Blessings, KD

Love Poems by Rabia al Basri

Take away the words of the devil
O God, take away the words of the devil
That mix with my prayer--
If not, then take my prayer as it is, devil and all.

--Rabia al Basri
 
I have loved Thee with two loves -
a selfish love and a love that is worthy of Thee.
As for the love which is selfish,
Therein I occupy myself with Thee,
to the exclusion of all others.
But in the love which is worthy of Thee,
Thou dost raise the veil that I may see Thee.
Yet is the praise not mine in this or that,
But the praise is to Thee in both that and this.
- Rabia al Basri

In love, nothing exists between heart and heart.

Speech is born out of longing,
True description from the real taste.
The one who tastes, knows;
the one who explains, lies.
How can you describe the true form of Something
In whose presence you are blotted out?
And in whose being you still exist?
And who lives as a sign for your journey?
- Rabia


Daniel Ladinsky writes:

When Rabia was quite young she was separated from her parents, and while wandering homeless was stolen and sold into slavery. Because of her remarkable beauty she was bought by a brothel for a huge amount of money. She was both physically and sexually abused from an early age, and it is said that this may be a source of her erotic poetry. She wrote, "What a place for trials and transformations did my Lover out me, but never once did He look upon me as I were impure. Dear Sisters, all we do in this world, whatever happens, is bringing us closer to God."

IN MY SOUL


In
my soul
there is a temple, a shrine, a mosque, a church
where I kneel.
Prayer should bring us to an altar where no walls or names exist.
Is there not a region of love where the sovereignty is
illumined nothing,
where ecstasy gets poured into itself
and becomes
lost,
where the wing is fully alive
but has no mind or
body?
In
my soul
there is a temple, a shrine, a mosque,
a church
that dissolve, that
dissolve in
God.

It is said that when Hazrat Rabia would not come to attend the sermons of Hazrat Hasan Basri, he would deliver no discourse that day. People in the audience asked him why he did that. He replied: “The syrup that is held by the vessels meant for the elephants cannot be contained in the vessels meant for the ants.”
In-joy.

Pole dancing at the beach

I love to flirt. And flirting with the camrea adds fun new dimension. Goddess Julie Kondor and I took a foggy walk to the beach, stopping in the alley to have a some fun here's the evidence. Thanks Julie and congrats on your new website: http://www.kondorimaging.com/

Solstice Sabbatical: Statmement of Intent

     It may seem like I'm Hibernating, but really I'm practicing my Yoga.  Winter Solstice is beautiful time to go inward. Because it's cold outside, I either like to go on a triopical trip, or turn up the internal heat! This year, I am taking a writing retreat to complete the following three projects:

1. Interview and script performances for my forthcoming one-goddess show, tentatively titled: "The Sacred Slut Series."

2. Revise and reprintmy novel "Don't Drink the Punch"

3. Update and reprint my book "Sacred Sexual Healing"

I intend to take a sabbatical from sessions & workshops so that I can convert my daily work schedule into writing times. Aditionally, I will to take trips to Orange County to work with my graphic designer, and be flexible when I schedule interviews and hold rehearsals, but I intend to put in a minumum of 20 hours in per week. My goal is to have both books at the printer for before new year and at least 60 pages of Script and 30 minutes of rough performance art.

To accomplish this, I am hereby taking a moratorium on FB and saying NO THANKS to social inviations during my the writing week: (10-6pm on T,W,Th) Wish me luck! Thanks for supporting my art.
Let me know what your Year end Goals and how I can support you.

Happy Holidays!
KD
http://www.blisscoach.com/